Feelings of Despair and Seeking Peace-help me

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Was in The Same Shoes as You Are....

by Carolyn_B_7 on Wed Aug 25, 2004 12:00 AM

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Hi Alina V, My sister discovered she had breast cancer 3 years ago. It had spread to her lymth nodes. After taking the hardest chemo there was she was checked and it had spread to her bones. WhenI heard this news I was so tore up. I cried so hard it I almost made myself sick. I am a born again christian and one day after I head been unable to sleep and I had been crying so much, I felt the need to read the passage in the Bible where it says, if you ask anything and believe he will answer your prayers. And it was like he spoke to me aand said, ASK, TRUST. So I knelt right there and asked him to heal my sister. After I prayed, peace came to me and from that day on, I have had peace. No matter what the news has been, I still beleive God is going to heal my sister. Just Monday, she found out that her brain scan came back and now the cancer is in her brain. But I still have peace. He's the ONLY one who can give peace. No shrink or any one else can give you peace. My sister has been told that she only had a few weeks to live 2 times since all this happened. And that was over 2 years ago. She is still a live. I don't care how bad things seem, (and I believe the devil is sending us bad news after bad news just to show God our Faith will fail)All you need is the "Faith the size of a mustard seed, and that is really small. He says Faith can move mountains. I want you to know, that I will be praying for you. That you will seek God and he will give you the peace you need about your Mother. God Bless you,

i Hope You're Reading The Other Messages!

by Sharon_B_10 on Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:00 AM

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Dear Teri: It sounds like there are a lot of us going through similar things with our parents! I wrote message #6. I hope you read all the responses that people are giving to Alaina. They might be meaningful to you, too! By the way - if you start using credit card advances to live on, it will be financial quicksand. For one thing, their interest rates are AWFUL!! How about finding temporary work instead? I used to work through Manpower. Maybe you would want to try something physically active, so it helps you concentrate on something other than what's eating you up! You can not survive emotionally or physically just living on advances and without real hope. No doubt it made the situation much worse when your dad told you not to mention your mom's cancer! Your telling her friends they might want to go encourage her by their presence and their love - sure sounds right to me! And she IS your mother as much as she is your father's wife. You sound very perceptive (to me) in guessing he's in denial or just taking his hurt out on you. He's got to be hurting, too! How about going to a cancer support group yourself? You would likely find real help going where other people know what you are going through. I can not truthfully say I've attended any. My support framework is friends who get me back on my feet when occasionally the latest news blows me over. God has given me one particular friend who is so sane and kind, and has pulled me back up when I was scared half to death for my dad (died in 2002) AND for my mom (diagnosed with colon cancer 13 months ago.) And, truthfully, in those cases, it's when I started trusting God again that I got back on my feet emotionally. That friend whose words really help has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ, and points me back to His love, faithfullness and power! Sharon B.

Thanks, Randy

by Sharon_B_10 on Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:00 AM

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Thanks for the kind words, Randy! The website notified me of your response. Sharon B.

Hope

by Stephanie_S_4 on Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:00 AM

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My father was diagnosed with "skin cancer" 3 years ago. At that time it had spread into his lymph nodes ... he had a 14 hour surgery to remove the cancer and most of his bottom lip and all the lymph nodes in his neck. He was not supposed to make it off the table...but he did ... just recently we were told the cancer was back again (third time)!! and this time more aggressive... he is scheduled for surgery on sept 1st.... more than once we have been told that he had 6 months to live and to make sure things are in order ... and more than once he has proven the doctors wrong... This go around the doctors said, you are a walking puzzle to us ... most people given any of the ONE "challenges" you have been given would not be here... let alone everything you have been through.... His doctor's are great... they KNOW that they can fix him up physically, mentally and emotionally, they know that my dad has that one figured out. My dad insists that the reason he is still here is because of his FAITH and the LOVE of his FAMILY and FRIENDS. The power of faith and love is incredible!!! You need to be open with your mom, talk and listen to her. For yourself, DO NOT give up. People survive all the time and beat the odds. Have yourself a real good cry, and then live your life. Your mother would want that.... spend time with her, pray for her and love her. That is the best medicine in the world. Good Luck - I will add your mother to my prayer list. Tante S.

Care Givers

by Linda_S_6 on Thu Aug 26, 2004 12:00 AM

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Dear Alina, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. It's overwhelming, plus I went through it with my gal friend she was only M we had gone together for 17 years, this was a relationship made in heaven we were so compatible our friends prayed to have a relationship ours, Lina was diagnosed on 11/14/2002 with a brain tumor globalism multiform, its stage 4 by virtue of its name a real aggressive type, she had emergency surgery to remove it but it was already to late inoperable, I went through the exact feelings your going through. I had to remain optimistic for her, I couldn't. I cried more than she did until a doctor told me to really try to make her believe you will never give up and god performs miracles, as soon as I started that she perked right up, she felt that if I could feel optimistic she could too, she needed someone to believe with her that she was an individual and because other people died from this disease she may be the one god looked in on and she started to do that, I constantly told her only god can call us home and until that time she would stay hear with me, linda was given 4 to 8 weeks to live closer to the 4 week date, but when she started to beleive what I was saying she began to make progress, it didn't save her she passed on April 25, 2004 a full 14 months longer than doctors told her, whats important here is linda was given hope even though she knew she was dying she had that feeling that maybe shes the one God chose to perform the miracle on!! Alina, please give that hope to your mom it wont save her life but it may lengthen it and the overwhelming feeling of doom was lessened and she can get more time with you, and remember the extra time she gets may me what she needs to see if there's a breakthrough!! In her treatment with the extended time. i'll add you and your mom to my prayers good luck to your mom and for your families god bless all of you. with love a friend

Jesus Heals

by April_J on Tue Aug 31, 2004 12:00 AM

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Hello. It saddens me to hear of your mother's illness and your despair. All I can say is PRAY. Jesus heals...mind, body and spirit. No matter what the doctors say, God is in control. Pray and have faith and don't give up. Pray with/for your mother and yourself. Isaiah 53:5 is a healing scripture. Please read it and pray. May God bless you and your mother and give you peace.

Finding Peace

by Diane_T_3 on Wed Sep 01, 2004 12:00 AM

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Dear Alina: My Mom was diagnosed with ovarian state IV cancer a few years ago. What was very difficult for me was when, 2 years later, she decided not to take more chemo. She had received 3 rounds by that time. We talked about what that meant -- that she would soon die. She said she was not afraid. She had peace about dying. She had a strong faith in God -- that she would spend eternity with Jesus. She was at peace. I would go home and go for long walks and cry and pray and cry and pray and then God would give me that same kind of peace. She died after a 3-year battle in late 1999. Last year, I was diagnosed with state 2-3 ovarian cancer. I believe it has been much easier for me than for my family. I don't worry and stress. I have peace but it is a gift that God gives me -- it isn't something that I muster up by myself. It doesn't make sense but I am more at peace now than at any other time in my life. The gifts I have been given because of cancer are many. I can't imagine going thru my life and missing out on them. In April, only 5 months after completing chemo, the cancer was back. I went thru 2-3 weeks of crying alot and feeling very sad -- grieving the cancer. Then God gave me the peace again and there's where I stay. My family and I will do what needs to be done and keep marching along. But ovarian cancer is terminal and when things get more difficult, I want my family to be able to laugh or cry or whatever they feel like doing and not feel they have to protect me. Mostly, I don't want them to be angry and afraid. I want them to be glad for me that I'm with my Lord and that I'm complete and happy and that I will see them again. I think that in our Western society, death is treated with such fear and dread that we forget it is a natural, inevitable, beautiful passage from this short, temporary life here. Pray for help, comfort, peace and even joy. God will answer you. Diane T.

Feelings of Despair and Seeking Peace-help me

by Guptila on Fri Sep 03, 2004 12:00 AM

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I am sorry to hear about your mum's situation and wish I was able to some how reach out and help out. I myself have been in your situation - in my case it was my daughter. During this time, I read a number of books by cancer survivors and have personally spoken to them. Most of these people had been given few weeks or months to live but somehow they have managed to turn the tide around. Although I have not found a silver bullet, it appears that almost all these people have one thing in common - in that they have taken control of the situation and they have faced up to the threat to their lives be it through prayer, meditation, relaxation or sensible diet etc. Perhaps, you may want to check these out and to do this you do not have to spend a fortune either. And most of all, almost all these people have had some strong moral support from their spouse, children, parents etc etc. So my advice is for you to try your best to support your mum as best as you can do and this includes shedding the feelings of despair and instead going for hope and faith. Hope this helps.

There is Hope!

by Honey_C on Sat Sep 04, 2004 12:00 AM

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Dear Alina, My wife and I feel such sorrow for you and your situation. But I just want to tell you all is not lost there is yet much reason to hope. My wife was diagnosed two years ago with breast cancer. At first all appearances were that it was very advanced and had metastasized. At first she was devastated, but we've both known Jesus as our Lord and Savior for many years, and have seen Him work many miracles over the years to help us through hopeless situations like that. So again we turned to the Lord in prayer seeking his direction as to what we were to do. We're not regular churchgoers because my wife is very shy and doesn't feel comfortable opening up to people much. But we both have very strong personal relationships with the Lord and He can impress on a believer what He wants them to know by guiding them to the right passages in the Bible which are suitable to your situation. Sometimes he will talk to you like that or sometimes through the words of another believer. Even though we believed that God touched her and healed her of any cancer that might've spread from her breast at that time, she still had a lumpectomy and chemo treatments. She is still well and cancer free to this day. We thank God that He has brought us safe through many toils and trials in this life, and we know that when it comes time for us to leave this world, we will be joining our Lord and many of our loved ones in a new life in a perfect place where we'll never be subject to the sorrows of this place again. We're also thankful for the way the Lord has shown us many times how He can rescue us from the dangers and snares of this world while we're yet here and can share the hope with others. I hope you and your mother come to know His love and care as we have. God bless you, you will both be in our prayers.

Seeking Peace, Helpful Reading

by Carla_K on Tue Sep 21, 2004 12:00 AM

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This book helped give me hope during my battle with Cancer. "Love , Medicine and Miracles" by Bernie Siegel, M.D.
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