Losing my husband to lung cancer. He’s only 52

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Losing my husband to lung cancer. He’s only 52

by Bozebabydoll on Sat Mar 09, 2019 04:22 AM

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Searching for someone to relate to. My husband had a pulmonary embolism at the end of July 2018. They discovered a mass on top of a collapsed left lung and lots of fluid. He got a chest tube. They told him it had metastasized into both lungs. Then pneumonia. Then they told him it was in his spine and sent him home with hospice the last day of January 2019. I care for him alone. I have his mom but he doesn’t want anyone but me. I am so lost. I sit here day after day watching him deteriorate. Nurse tells me today he is very weak and has probably less than a month. It’s happening so fast I am in shock I think. It’s different when it’s a spouse and to be so young. I don’t know where to turn I don’t know how to survive this mentally. If you can relate please talk to me.

RE: Losing my husband to lung cancer. He’s only 52

by Wpcleal on Tue Mar 12, 2019 09:31 PM

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I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I cannot relate exactly but I can come pretty damn close. My brother died of lung cancer at age 43. That was 4 years ago. He was a non smoker and his only symptom was two weeks of severe headaches prior to diagnosis. He was scanned and had 8 lesions in his brain. Further investigation led to a Stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis. He was given 3 months to live. He ended up living two years after taking every imaginable chemo and undergoing over 100 rounds of radiation. Ultimately, it ended up in his spine and he declined quickly from there. My Dad was diagnosed with Stage 3 esophageal cancer ( non drinker and non smoker) 2 1/2 years ago. About 8 months ago it metastized to his liver and lungs. He died 9 days ago. He had malignant pleural effusions in both lungs and that is what ultimately took his life. It is awful and shocking and scary to have to face this and I truly feel for you. Having gone through this twice and now being on the other side, I can say this only....try to stay in the present moment as much as humanly possible. It will help you and it will help your husband. You will feel more peaceful and you will be most likely to exude peace to your husband. I know being the main caretaker can be terribly overwhelming. You must take breaks and try to take care of yourself. You will burn out if you don’t and your husband may start to feel like he’s a burden. The only way out is through and you WILL be ok. You really will. In the meantime, maybe check out Eckhart Tolle. He’s written some amazing books about staying in the present moment and I listened to his audiobooks nonstop while going through all of this it’s my brother and Dad. I’ll be thinking about you! Peace and strength to you.
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