Pregnancy after diagnosis

9 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Pregnancy after diagnosis

by acraigie on Wed Apr 10, 2019 12:00 AM

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I've never posted here before so not sure how this really works. My therapist suggested the message board as a way of connecting to people who share similar experiences as there aren't a lot of people blessed with brain cancer in my rural Alberta area. Anyways, bit of background. I was diagnosed with oligo stage 2 after my first surgery in 2016. After the recurrence in 2018 I was re-diagnosed as astro stage 2. They decided to hold off on the chemo and radiation until it came back again because they thought it would do more harm than good right now. After meeting with the neuro-oncologist and learning that the upcoming chemo would possibly affect my fertility (and I can not afford to freeze my eggs) I started thinking seriously about babies. My partner has two daughters, 5&3, however I have none of my own. I have always wanted to be a mom. I feel like if it's going to happen it needs to happen before I have to go through anymore treatments that might make it more difficult to conceive or be dangerous to the baby. What I am stuggling with now is whether or not it's justifiable to bring a child into the world knowing that I am going to subject it to watching me die. I don't know if it is selfish to still want a baby. It would be cool if someone could write a book on how to deal with this sh!t. 

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by number9 on Thu Apr 11, 2019 09:25 PM

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Hello! May my words come across in the spirit they are given… which is intended with HOPE.

Looking back on what i personally experienced while caregiving for my mom (as well as in ALL the blessings from moments shared with some of the most special humans who connected here back in 2009-2011 while navigating GBM as patients/caregivers), it feels important to remember how LIFE IS SUCH A GIFT. More importantly, LIVING is exactly what honors and acknowledges the gift of LIFE. Are we here to watch each other die… or are we here to watch each other LIVE!! My personal take… the greatest experience of my life was watching my mom LIVE, especially through the final 13 months of her life she lived with brain cancer.

YOU… YOUR LIFE… what resonates deeply for YOU… is your best compass FOR YOU, ABOUT YOU, CONNECTED TO EVERY MOMENT THAT HONORS YOUR LIFE AND LIVING.  LIVE, dear women, LIVE!!!

In 2010, i crossed paths on here with an amazing soul who became a fast friend. His diagnosis was November 2007. Ever since, he & I have stayed connected by emailing a “hello” on every HUMP DAY and T.G.I.F, week after week. Back in 2010, i coinedDamonas theAMBASSADOR OF HOPE. His life, and how he has chosen to LIVE, makes his moniker a fitting one.

In Damon’s own words posted here, back in 2010, “…first thing take a deep breath... I will say I have a higher grade of cancer (than an Oligo). I look at life different, but I KEEP ON LIVING! Since my "DX" short for diagnosis I have had my wife give birth to triplets, bought a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail Classic, became a Grandpa, and continue to be amazed in my life. Ask questions to the medical personnel if in question? Cancer itself is serious but not the end of the world. Be careful what you read on the internet. This is all subject to interpretation and old data. Medical advances are changing every day.”

Most importantly, he taught me a quote back that comes to mind as i read your post: “LIFE IS NOT MEASURE BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY.”  ~ Author Unknown

Long story short… i hold you in my heart and wish you the very best of life’s gifts that will take your breath away with HOPE, AWE, WONDER, LOVE… you know, all the good shit :)

LIVE LIFE.

DO YOU.

STAY TRUE.

THE REST OF YOUR STORY WRITES ITSELF… AND WILL FOLLOW THROUGH!

on we go…

number9

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by number9 on Thu Apr 11, 2019 09:52 PM

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<<< sorry, this may be a double post because it got hung up for review... cleaned up the language here... >>>

Hello! May my words come across in the spirit they are given… which is intended with HOPE.

Looking back on what I personally experienced while caregiving for my mom (as well as in ALL the blessings from moments shared with some of the most special humans who connected here back in 2009-2011 while navigating GBM as patients/caregivers), it feels important to remember how LIFE IS SUCH A GIFT. More importantly, LIVING is exactly what honors and acknowledges the gift of LIFE. Are we here to watch each other die… or are we here to watch each other LIVE!! My personal take… the greatest experience of my life was watching my mom LIVE, especially through the final 13 months of her life she lived with brain cancer.

YOU… YOUR LIFE… what resonates deeply for YOU… is your best compass FOR YOU, ABOUT YOU, CONNECTED TO EVERY MOMENT THAT HONORS YOUR LIFE AND LIVING.  LIVE, dear women, LIVE!!!!!!!!!

In 2010, i crossed paths on here with an amazing soul who became a fast friend. His diagnosis was November 2007. Ever since, he & I have stayed connected by emailing a “hello” on every HUMP DAY and T.G.I.F, week after week. Back in 2010, i coinedDamonas theAMBASSADOR OF HOPE. His life, and how he has chosen to LIVE, makes his moniker a fitting one.

Damon’s own words posted here, back in 2010, “…first thing take a deep breath... I will say I have a higher grade of cancer (than an Oligo). I look at life different, but I KEEP ON LIVING! Since my "DX" short for diagnosis I have had my wife give birth to triplets, bought a Harley Davidson Heritage Softail Classic, became a Grandpa, and continue to be amazed in my life. Ask questions to the medical personnel if in question? Cancer itself is serious but not the end of the world. Be careful what you read on the internet. This is all subject to interpretation and old data. Medical advances are changing every day.”

Most importantly, he taught me a quote back that comes to mind as i read your post: “LIFE IS NOT MEASURE BY THE NUMBER OF BREATHS WE TAKE, BUT BY THE MOMENTS THAT TAKE OUR BREATH AWAY.”  ~ Author Unknown

Long story short… i hold you in my heart and wish you the very best of life’s gifts that will take your breath away with HOPE, AWE, WONDER, LOVE… all the good sh!t :)

LIVE LIFE.  DO YOU.  STAY TRUE.  THE REST OF YOUR STORY WRITES ITSELF… AND WILL FOLLOW THROUGH! 

on we go…

number9

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by ducksnrow on Fri Apr 12, 2019 09:11 PM

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Well a good friend asked me to say something. It has been a while since I have been on hits board. Great sounding board for sure. I was diagnosed in Novemeber 2007. Anaplastic Oligo WHO 3. The prognoses was not good but.... During the consult with my Neuro-oncologist we were talking about the protocal. Chemo Radiation and all that fun stuff. The the other half asked about having babies? WHAT!!!! This is about my cancer!!! Then my oncologist interupted me...That is a good question... Once I started Chemo/Radiation all bets are off. So long story kind of short I went and donated ~ Bank....lol. I beat the odds on living with my cancer and triplets that will be 11yrs this August. This journey is not about just to sit and die. Not the least but it gives you a new outlook on life. IVF worked and I am blessed to have my little circus. You have to decide what you want? This is your Life and you are in charge. From your Protocal to your path! In closing......

Remember that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away!

Thanks Number 9

Much Love

Ducksnrow

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by acraigie on Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:33 PM

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Thank you so much for the replies. You are right, I think I just needed someone to tell me that it is okay to feel the way I feel right now. I appreciate the feedback more than you know.

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by number9 on Mon Apr 15, 2019 04:15 PM

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Damon :) thanks good friend... for getting your "ducksnrow" to sign in and share your journey with support.

Permission to sign-off and GET BACK TO LIVING!!!

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by number9 on Mon Apr 15, 2019 04:16 PM

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acraigie... all the BEST of Life & Living to you :)

on we go...

9

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by bizzerbee on Tue Apr 16, 2019 08:07 PM

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Hello,

So, my story is a little different since it is my husband with an AA3 and not myself. However, we were in the midst of trying to have our second child when this all came to be in May of last year. We did bank some sperm and we did try IUIs which all failed. We saved a little sperm for emergency IVF which, we as well can not afford. I did A LOT of research and it seems that most men and women do not become sterile from Temodar. However, if I was in your shoes I too would do it now rather than later. 

Lots of people look at my husband and I like we are crazy for wanting to have more kids. To me in is crazy to pause our life and wait for him to die. Afterall, I could die tomorrow and he could live another 20 years. Is it sad to think about our children watching their dad die? Yes, of course, but do I think that experience will rob them of happy lives.. no I dont. What I do think is that I will not give my life to cancer. I will not let cancer rob me of the joys of today because of the fears of tomorrow. You have to do what feels right in your heart. That is what we are doing. When my husband finishes his maintence chemo in July we will wait for the all clear and will go back to trying to concieve. If we are unable to we will apply for a scholarship for IVF. If anyone questions our decisions I will pay them no mind for they will never understand what we are going through. I love my husband and the children we make are pieces of him that will brighten our darkest days. 

HUGS

RE: Pregnancy after diagnosis

by AkaBear on Mon Aug 05, 2019 05:33 AM

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Hi

Apologies for a late reply, what you decided to do in agreement with your partner is for you two to decide, I thought my own story may be worth sharing.

My partner was diagonosed with an Astro Stage 2/3 and had complete removal 6 months after diagnosis. No followup radiation treatment, do not remember now the drugs that went on. But do remember is was 6 months to a year before near full recovery.

2 years after surgery, we decided to have a child and were unsuccessful, just natural reason not surgery related.

Upset by the situtatin we decided not to try for a while.

4 years later we were successful and had our first child, followed by another 3 years later.

Her opinion at the time was the strong desire to bring another person into the world.

Mine motivation was probably a little different; the want to both have a child together as with her, to not clench onto the thought that life might be cut short to keep the forward momentum and the selfish side my end I guess to also to have a permaenent continuation of her life by extension of a child both brought into the world by both of us.

Something that was hard to find verified online, our surgeon informed at the time that the pressure on the brain during childbirth did have a small chance of causing a seizure, hemmorige or even stroke.

Also informed that the local hospitals would only be able to deal with one specialist situation, either baby or saving life of mum.

So I was tasked by the doctor at the time with a worst case scenario of potentially having to chose who to save.

We knew the risks and decided to go forward anyhow.

No regrets. And to this day, I am not sure what I would have done if had to make that decision.

There is a hidden fear with both of us that the children may lose their mum with reoccurance one day but live with the hope should that day come that there the children are lucky enough to have had a wonderful fill of experiece with their mom and old enought to remember.

15 years on from surgery, a hint of a problem is arising but have been blessed with more time than ever expected.

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