Dad secretly remarried 2 months after my mom

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Dad secretly remarried 2 months after my mom

by Anonymous62 on Mon Apr 15, 2019 02:06 AM

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I lost my mom to esophageal cancer last November. She was and still is one of the most important people in my life. My dad has always treated her poorly, throughout their marriage. He treated her poorly even when she was suffering during cancer. I had my doubts at the time that he was cheating on her but it was too painful to accept. 2 months after I lost her, my dad secretly remarried and didn’t tell anyone until 2 weeks ago. He didn’t tell us because he was ready to share it. Apparently, the woman was threatening to tell us if he didn’t and he was forced to tell us. This is wrong on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin. I want my mom back. I feel so hurt that he did this to her and disrespected her even after she was gone. I am not sure what to make of any of this. I can never forgive him for what he has done.

RE: Dad secretly remarried 2 months after my mom

by PunkyD on Mon Apr 15, 2019 06:12 AM

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I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mom. It is still hard to believe, right? I'm coming up on 6 years since I lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer. I'm sure that your complicated relationship with you dad just makes your grieving that much more difficult.  Frustration, disappointment, anger, disbelief all wrapped up together. 

I have no magical solutions for how you can cope with your feelings. Sharing them here is a good start. Do you have siblings that you can talk to? Close friends? I'm sorry that you are in this situation, and that you don't have your father to grieve with. It is a shame that he cannot be open and honest with you.  I cannot relate to your situation, but I hear you. I respect your feelings. Have you spoken to him? Do you want to? Everything for you is still so recent and raw. Give yourself time to feel however you do. 

Punky

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