Totally Overwhelmed!!

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Totally Overwhelmed!!

by treasures4u1 on Sat Apr 20, 2019 09:39 PM

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My mom was diagnosed about 3 months ago with stage 3 small cell lung cancer.  She is 75.  I live a couple of blocks away.  I am the ONLY caregiver for her.  I have a family of 8!  I can pretty much handle the chemo and radiation appts but cooking for her is impossible.  I have NO time between appts, searching for assistance, filling out forms, driving here, there, etc...and that is just for her.  That doesnt include my family responsibilities.  On top of that my father has heart disease and has to start leg compression therapy for 35 days straight.  

I am going to make them some small meals to freeze but they are not full blown meals.  I just cant do it.  If anyone has any ideas on what to do or who to call for assistance with this please let me know.  Does Medicare help at all?  Meals on Wheels doesnt provide much.  Any ideas?

This is the only problem I really have is feeding them.

Thank You in advance.

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by kak123 on Sat Apr 20, 2019 10:04 PM

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You may feel like you are all alone but there are many of us. I know that does not help with you present needs. Have you checked in to what the cancer center your mother goes to or an affiliation with a church? Some cities offer help with volunteers. That is just a few options.

I know I need help too. When I sit and break it down on what would me.....I look at the list and think well I should be able to manage it. Now I am on 2 antidepressants having nightmares everynight.

I hope one of the other caregivers on this site will come up with someething that will work.

Good Luck

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by treasures4u1 on Sat Apr 20, 2019 11:31 PM

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TY and GL to you.

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by ZippyBeta on Sun Apr 21, 2019 04:55 PM

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Have you checked Meals on Wheels which is run by the county in which you live.

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by Sdurnell on Thu Apr 25, 2019 05:45 PM

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How much are they able to do on their own?  It sounds like otherwise they may be fairly independent.

Use prepared meals that only need to be heated on the stove or in the oven or microwave.  Stock their freezer with purchased frozen meals.  (They might even need a bigger freezer, like those small chest types.)  Instant oatmeal, hearty canned soups, fresh fruit and frozen vegetables are also good.

Since you are already cooking for 8, could you just add a bit more to the recipe and make it for 10 or 12?

If they are members of a group, like a church or veteran's group of quillting circle, you might get a bit of help from them, asking that one or two folks be responsible for a dinner once or twice a week for instance.

Can your kids help at all?  Even a 10-year-old with a bike could heat things up for them at times.  And that makes kids feel like they are doing something important for their family, which they are!

Best of luck to you all.

Susan

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by treasures4u1 on Mon Apr 29, 2019 02:01 PM

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Thank You

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by treasures4u1 on Mon Apr 29, 2019 02:10 PM

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Would you believe that our county does not have Meals on Wheels?

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by kak123 on Thu May 09, 2019 03:03 PM

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another suggestion. My husband has stage 4 base of tongue cancer. Eating for him is difficult. I have been giving him the better nutritious TV dinners and supplement with ensure with benecal added to the  ensure. Just the drinks alone supply him with 2200 calories a day. I have it delivered to our home, it is payed for by insurance - your Dr. would have to write a prescription for it to be covered by medicare.

RE: Totally Overwhelmed!!

by Puppybelly on Fri Jun 07, 2019 09:37 AM

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I can't say they'll qualify, but have you applied for Medicaid for them yet?  If they can get approved, they provide a lot of resources, including Elder Care services.  Is there a social worker in any of the medical centers you go to?  If so, they might be able to give you some good resources. 

Please take care of you!!!  Good luck. 

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