Lost Cause

6 Posts | Page(s): 1 

Lost Cause

by PFFlyer on Fri Jun 21, 2019 05:24 PM

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We have just been told that my husband has two months to live.  He and I, have battled primary liver cancer since February of 2017.  I won't go into everything that has gone on/and or happened but it looks like he is losing this battle.  I just have to share what happened recently at one of his oncology appointments.  In discussing, the prognosis, I expressed that we will continue to fight.  The doctor looked at me and said Mrs.-----, you need to just give up and consider your husband's comfort.  My husband who is an extremely positive person and has managed this disease with much courage and hope, was deflated.  He did not want to know that he only has two months to live, he prefers to live each day with a positive approach.  He's not stupid, he just doesn't want those words to be in his mind every day for the rest of his life.  His affairs are in order so there is nothing left to prepare. I am so angry with these doctors that they believe every patient needs to be told to their face that they are dying. This is not my husband's personality!  I've been married to him for 51 years.  I asked the doctor to share with me what to expect and though all the paperwork gives me the authority to discuss all aspects of my husband's medical, the doctor refused.  He would only talk to the both of us.  Angry, Angry, Angry!

RE: Lost Cause

by riverak on Fri Jun 21, 2019 07:16 PM

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On Jun 21, 2019 5:24 PM PFFlyer wrote:

We have just been told that my husband has two months to live.  He and I, have battled primary liver cancer since February of 2017.  I won't go into everything that has gone on/and or happened but it looks like he is losing this battle.  I just have to share what happened recently at one of his oncology appointments.  In discussing, the prognosis, I expressed that we will continue to fight.  The doctor looked at me and said Mrs.-----, you need to just give up and consider your husband's comfort.  My husband who is an extremely positive person and has managed this disease with much courage and hope, was deflated.  He did not want to know that he only has two months to live, he prefers to live each day with a positive approach.  He's not stupid, he just doesn't want those words to be in his mind every day for the rest of his life.  His affairs are in order so there is nothing left to prepare. I am so angry with these doctors that they believe every patient needs to be told to their face that they are dying. This is not my husband's personality!  I've been married to him for 51 years.  I asked the doctor to share with me what to expect and though all the paperwork gives me the authority to discuss all aspects of my husband's medical, the doctor refused.  He would only talk to the both of us.  Angry, Angry, Angry!

We are so very sorry to hear about this challenge that your husband is facing and would like to provide some guidance to you in this time of need. One of our experienced Patient Advocates is available now to assist you at 847-342-6493. Please feel free to reach out anytime.

Looking forward to helping you,

Karen Rivera
Cancer Treatment Centers of America
Community Engagement and Outreach Team

RE: Lost Cause

by PFFlyer on Fri Jun 21, 2019 07:40 PM

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Thank you.  That response is very much appreciated.

RE: Lost Cause

by Janey6 on Thu Jun 27, 2019 06:36 PM

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On Jun 21, 2019 5:24 PM PFFlyer wrote:

We have just been told that my husband has two months to live.  He and I, have battled primary liver cancer since February of 2017.  I won't go into everything that has gone on/and or happened but it looks like he is losing this battle.  I just have to share what happened recently at one of his oncology appointments.  In discussing, the prognosis, I expressed that we will continue to fight.  The doctor looked at me and said Mrs.-----, you need to just give up and consider your husband's comfort.  My husband who is an extremely positive person and has managed this disease with much courage and hope, was deflated.  He did not want to know that he only has two months to live, he prefers to live each day with a positive approach.  He's not stupid, he just doesn't want those words to be in his mind every day for the rest of his life.  His affairs are in order so there is nothing left to prepare. I am so angry with these doctors that they believe every patient needs to be told to their face that they are dying. This is not my husband's personality!  I've been married to him for 51 years.  I asked the doctor to share with me what to expect and though all the paperwork gives me the authority to discuss all aspects of my husband's medical, the doctor refused.  He would only talk to the both of us.  Angry, Angry, Angry!

How sad that is! You know your hubby better than MD! Those docs want to control everything. He may have felt you would keep info from his patient, your hubby. Their first duty is to patient. But they should also be aware of sensitivities....this person clearly wasn’t. You know, Hope is a beautiful gift. If has propelled people way beyond limits predicted by docs. He’s so lucky to have you. It’s a terrible disease. My hubby had pancreatic. Janey

RE: Lost Cause

by PunkyD on Sun Jun 30, 2019 06:42 AM

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I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis and that the doctors have been insensitive, squashing his hope. I can understand your anger and frustration. Maybe you could have a private conversation with the doctors and tell them what you've told us here? Or could you change doctors? I am very sorry if the damage of what they've said has already been done. It is sad and infuriating. I've heard that the last thing to die is hope. 

I pray that your husband can still live each day positively and enjoy whatever time he has left, without thinking about the end. I pray for the best for your husband. 

Sincerely,

Punky

RE: Lost Cause

by kyhillbilly on Thu Jul 04, 2019 07:41 AM

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I'm sorry to hear of your husband's diagnosis and I pray that he finds a miracle somehow.  It's sad that a Dr would suggest you give up hope regardless of what he believes the outcome will be.

There's people everyday all over the world that have been told the cancer is non curable and there's no hope and thousands have somehow found the will to fight it and been fortunate enough to find a way to reverse it's spreading and some have gotten it to 100% remission while some are still living many years later.

Doctors have technology,  medicine,  and treatments that work for some patients but not for all and their diagnosis while some what accurate the also make mistakes and predict the wrong outcome more than we know. 

There are many different claims on the Web about natural cures etc, and although most don't have ample proof of their claims they may be something you might wanna look at.

I've read about hedge apples turning cancer around, about baking soda in your drinks turning it around,  special diets to starve csncer, so some may be false who knows some might work but if you have no chance one might consider one of those on the web?

My mother n father both passed with cancer and right now I have a brother 49 with stage 4 Ampullary cancer and he just started chemo and I'm searching for help as well.

I'll certainly pray for your husband and you and hope you find a miracle.

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