I have less than 6 months

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I have less than 6 months

by Tery50 on Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:00 AM

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I would like those who have cancer to keep the faith. Say your prayers. God hears you. I have less than 6 months and its hard as hell to prepare yourself and your family. I have a loving husband that dotes on me everyday and am so blessed for that. Spouses, children, and the grandchildren are left with the emotional rollercoaster. I may not make sense but I am trying to accomplish going thru my things so that it makes it easier on them later. I have had my will done, and my power of attorney done, and all the children knows what I want. My advice is spend the time with your loved one. Even if its a phone call. Check on them daily. It makes me cry sometimes to hear there voices but I would rather get cry than not hear from them. Let the past go... Live for the present, and to the fullest.

I have lung cancer, I did the chemo it didn't work for me.. I did radiation it helped me breath better. After two years of having lung cancer it decided to move. I had two tumors removed from my head by a lazer radiation. Dr said they may come back. I have my good days and bad days. My doctors keeps the pain away and yet I am not a zombie. They took my license, which actually I agree with. I have shakes like parkinson disease.I am a strong women who is not giving up. I want to give back to other cancer patients that just don't know what to do. I want to give other families that chance to cherish the new memories... Don't have any...then make the time to have them. Don't let your love one go one day with out telling them you love them. Believe me I look forward to everyday to hear those words of encourgment. I don't have anyone home with me. I do things myself when I can. Sometimes I am asked lets do this, or lets do that, but in truth I don't want to cuz I am tired, or the weather is  to hot and I can't  breathe well outside... Stand behind your loved one and show them you support them. They need to know this. Don't think that its automatic that they know cuz its not always true.

I am still wanting things, like I told my husband .... I am going to my daughter's for a week in Mississippi, and then to my other daughters for a week in Denham Springs, La. and when I get back I expect my porch to be built. I live in a trailer and at night its cool enough to sit outside but I want to be able to sit on my porch and on my swing. The time away from him will help him as well. Its hard, tough, whatever you want to call it when you know your losing your best friend. He never goes anywhere, I have been encouraging him to go out and have a drink with some of his friends, he needs to get out to refresh himself. We live in as small town in the country so everyone knows everyone, and everything.

Am I wrong to try to help them along... I don't believe I am. It helps me knowing that they don't have to go thru the agony as much.

                                                                       Tery50

 

RE: I have less than 6 months

by mistyd on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:00 AM

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First of all I want to say how sorry I am about your diagnosis.  My 54 yr old father was just diagnosed a couple of months ago but they have never told us how long.  I do not think I would believe them anyway.  I do not think it is crazy that you are going through some of your stuff.  You have to do whatever helps you and if that is what it is, then you do it. 

It is so hard for me to talk about stuff like that with my dad because I get so upset.  He is divorced, so he depends upon me and my older brother for everything.  I want you to know how strong I think you are for even having the courage to write the letter that you did.  It sounds to me like you are a fighter and you are strong.  Keep the faith and keep your family close.  You have given me inspiration.

RE: I have less than 6 months

by opwonya on Thu Nov 26, 2009 10:30 PM

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Your strength and faith is more willfull than what the diagnosis indicates.from this hour i urge you to pray along with us for you will get cured in the name the almighty.stay strong and god be with you.ameen

 

RE: I have less than 6 months

by BCinOntario on Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:16 PM

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What a beautiful message and a very loving and aware heart you have. I believe that you are doing the most loving thing in helping your family to accept what is to come.

It's natural I think for your loved ones to find it hard to be away from you. They've probably already thought about how on earth they will carry on after you are gone and it probably scares them so that they don't want to miss a moment. But you are quite right in thinking feeling that they should take some time for themselves.

I am very sorry for the prognosis you have received. I think you are very brave and I really admire your self-sufficiency in wanting to make sure that everything is taken care of and as you would like it. You are being true to yourself and doing things on your own terms which is a beautiful gift to yourself.

I wish you and your family much peace, strength and many beautiful moments together.

RE: I have less than 6 months

by JZimmer66 on Thu Nov 26, 2009 11:41 PM

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What you are doing will be appreciated by your family members.  You are an extremely strong person and I admire you greatly.  I tell my mother I love her several times a day.  (she has pancreatic cancer)  But I also tell my son and husband that daily as well.  You never know what is around the corner.  "I love you"  simple words that should be used more often by more people. 

RE: I have less than 6 months

by LICAROL on Tue Nov 30, 2010 05:26 AM

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Dear Tery50:  I thank you for your heartfelt words. I came to this site looking for something to grab onto and there was your note.  Thank you. My husband was just diiagnosed with stage IV adenocarcinoma lung to bone and brain.  I try not to let him see me cry but at one point we cried together. The holidays are approaching and I could care less. I tried to decorate a little for him and it was very painful thinking that this might be his last Christmas.  He is giving it a good fight but sometimes the treatment is worse than the disease and it makes you wonder "for what". The one thing that keeps us going is our great faith, especailly his. He has given his illness up to the Lord and feels that whatever treatment taken or not, there is a day specified when God will call him home.  I try to be happy around him but don't want him to think that I am not caring. I don't want him to know how much I am hurting because I don't want to add to his burden. I want to be with him every minute, every day--good and bad-- but I have to work as I support the house.  I am trying to find a way to work from home but it does not look promising. I take off as needed but the work piles up and after my FMLA runs out, my job and benefits will be in jeopardy.  Your note helped me to prioritize and I thank you for that.  Oddly, I am an RN but without oncology experience so I am having a difficult time dealing with this.  BUT, I have to say this to you, Teri...while doctors can estimate time left, that is all it is, an estimate. No one knows for sure until the very end when body systems/organs start to fail. Please don't let anyone put a time limit on your life.  If you believe it, you will be creating your own fate.  I have seen most people outlive their prognosis, professionally and personally.  My 43 year old stepson was declared terminal, liver failure after transplant. He was a construction worker.  His skin was orange, eyes neon yellow, his urine was mahogany brown in color, his weight went down to 68 pounds, you could smell the toxins coming from his pores, his labs were off the charts. He was actively dying.  He stayed with us because the whole process was too disturbing to his young children who did not understand. We had hospice services in place.  He was given 2-4 months.  After 2 months, he started to improve. We don't know what happened, the doctors were mystified and one even attributed it to God, as the only answer.  I am happy to say that he is alive and well, back to work, feeling good.  The point is, at this stage of your illness, doctors make their estimates based on some of the patients that they have experienced, not science.  Again, the only time a doctor can almost accurately depict the anticipated time of passing is when organs start to fail. So please!!!  Don't predict your own fate.  Don't let the 6 months hang over you. You have made all your preparations. Enjoy your life. Don't look at the calendar.  Someone once said to me that the process of death starts at birth!  I hope my words help you as your words helped me.  I will add you and your family to my prayer list.   Carol

RE: I have less than 6 months

by straywick on Fri Jun 03, 2011 03:12 AM

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I agree with everyone else. You sound like you are very strong. Only God can decide when you leave this earth. I pray for you to have strength and continue to live a full life daily. Also, enjoy that swing.

Sharon

RE: I have less than 6 months

by Bentley on Thu Oct 20, 2011 01:29 PM

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On Aug 06, 2009 12:00 AM Tery50 wrote:

I would like those who have cancer to keep the faith. Say your prayers. God hears you. I have less than 6 months and its hard as hell to prepare yourself and your family. I have a loving husband that dotes on me everyday and am so blessed for that. Spouses, children, and the grandchildren are left with the emotional rollercoaster. I may not make sense but I am trying to accomplish going thru my things so that it makes it easier on them later. I have had my will done, and my power of attorney done, and all the children knows what I want. My advice is spend the time with your loved one. Even if its a phone call. Check on them daily. It makes me cry sometimes to hear there voices but I would rather get cry than not hear from them. Let the past go... Live for the present, and to the fullest.

I have lung cancer, I did the chemo it didn't work for me.. I did radiation it helped me breath better. After two years of having lung cancer it decided to move. I had two tumors removed from my head by a lazer radiation. Dr said they may come back. I have my good days and bad days. My doctors keeps the pain away and yet I am not a zombie. They took my license, which actually I agree with. I have shakes like parkinson disease.I am a strong women who is not giving up. I want to give back to other cancer patients that just don't know what to do. I want to give other families that chance to cherish the new memories... Don't have any...then make the time to have them. Don't let your love one go one day with out telling them you love them. Believe me I look forward to everyday to hear those words of encourgment. I don't have anyone home with me. I do things myself when I can. Sometimes I am asked lets do this, or lets do that, but in truth I don't want to cuz I am tired, or the weather is  to hot and I can't  breathe well outside... Stand behind your loved one and show them you support them. They need to know this. Don't think that its automatic that they know cuz its not always true.

I am still wanting things, like I told my husband .... I am going to my daughter's for a week in Mississippi, and then to my other daughters for a week in Denham Springs, La. and when I get back I expect my porch to be built. I live in a trailer and at night its cool enough to sit outside but I want to be able to sit on my porch and on my swing. The time away from him will help him as well. Its hard, tough, whatever you want to call it when you know your losing your best friend. He never goes anywhere, I have been encouraging him to go out and have a drink with some of his friends, he needs to get out to refresh himself. We live in as small town in the country so everyone knows everyone, and everything.

Am I wrong to try to help them along... I don't believe I am. It helps me knowing that they don't have to go thru the agony as much.

                                                                       Tery50

 

Hi, Tery - I've just read your history and my heart is breaking for you and your family.  I hope that I can maybe give you a little bit of hope.  I was diagnosed with Stage 4 non-small adenocarcinoma with mets to the liver, brain and bones in April, 2005 - my oncologist told me that my estimated expiration date would be somewhere between 6-16 months.  My husband and I ( we don't have kids ) went into shock and I can remember doing exactly what you're doing - I wanted some of my things to go to my brother and some of my girlfreinds were going to some of my jewelery - the problem is it that while I was doing all of that ( in my case ) is that I was preparing to die, not fighting to live.  One of the first peple I spoke with after diagnosis was a woman ( don't know her, not sure who referred me to her ), but she was a 10-year ovarian cancer patient - she told me that Drs don't have the power to decide who lives and dies - only God can do that.  I took that to heart and I am still here after almost 7 years because I wasn't going to die.

On a practical note, if you have access to a good hospital you might try getting a 2nd opinion or maybe you will qualify for a clinical trial - it's what I did and it's worked well.

I went in a few weeks because some of my brain lessions came back so I had them radiated - it's a bummer, but after a week of serious anxiety and depresson, I'm back and I'm not going to surrender - I am a fighter and I think that you are too.

It's tough to try to fit 6+ years of life into this little box, but please let me know if I can help!

Laura  aka: Bentley  

RE: I have less than 6 months

by thebyrdsfriend on Sun Oct 23, 2011 01:36 AM

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Tery's message was posted in 2009.  This is the only post she ever made, and it's left a deep impression on me, as well as all who have commented. 

Laura, 6 years, GREAT!!  You are a true warrior!!  Thanks for your story too!

RE: I have less than 6 months

by Hopeneverdies on Tue Sep 04, 2012 10:07 PM

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Great to hear your story my dad was told the same only 6 months but we are not giving up he wants to fight and I will be there to support him every step of the way!!!! Miracles do exist :)
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