Last few days

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Last few days

by Loving_Grandaughter on Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:00 AM

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My Grandmother was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer, She is in the last stages, its hard because she is in England and I am in the U.S.

We want to spend my Grandmothers last few days but dont' know when to go, friends that have seen her don't think she will make it through the weekend. What do you look for when it close to the end and know when to go anyone know what to look for, we are thinking about leaving this week but just don't know. We took my daughter to see her as one of her wishes at the beginning of august and was planning on having to return so soon and money is tight but I really want to be there. Any help on the last days would be greatly appreciated.

 

RE: Last few days

by Amy12 on Tue Aug 25, 2009 12:00 AM

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I'm so sorry about your Grandmother.

My dad passed away a 2 years ago. His last week, he slept most of the time. The last 2 days he was not awake at all, although at the very end I think he knew we were there. I was fortunate that he lived in the same town I did, and I could be there every day. 

I guess what I'm saying is, since you don't have that opportunity, I would not try to wait until the very "last days" if you want to still be there when she is awake and you can talk to her.

The Hospice nurse told us (and this was true for my dad) that about 5-7 days before they pass away, you'll start to notice their extremities will start to turn a bluish gray, and they will eat less and start to sleep more and more. 

Good luck. I hope you get there when you need to. 

 

RE: Last few days

by donnany on Wed Aug 26, 2009 12:00 AM

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I too am so very sorry about your grandmother. I totally agree with Amy's post. I lost my dad just 7 months ago and the end came very quickly. He went to the oncologist on a Monday ( he was still getting chemo) and received IV fluids, by Wednesday they admitted him and he passed Saturday morning. He too was not awake the last two days, and we too felt strongly that he knew we were there. Even though we had the gift of being there when he passed, I wished we could have spoken more while he was awake. It comes very suddenly with disease so I also think you need to go now. It is one regret you will not have to worry about.My best to you and your family through this most difficult time.

RE: Last few days

by Denie on Sat Aug 29, 2009 12:00 AM

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Hi Loving Grandaughter--

I agree with the two posts before me.  My husband passed away 18 months ago.  He slept the last two days but knew I was there.  He was able to squeeze my hand once.  His beautiful brown eyes turned grayish.  His arms were ice cold but wet with sweat.  His breathing became different for the last hour or so.  He turned his head toward me and took his last 4 breaths.  My angel.

You will not regret it if you're there no matter how long it takes.  God Bless you and your journey with your Grama.  Take care.

Denise

RE: Last few days

by helgoland on Tue Sep 08, 2009 12:00 AM

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it was so different for my.  my mama was alert on her very last day.  she walked around the house (no hospice) and took care of her own basic needs.   several hours before her unexpected but yet peaceful passing, she began to throw up little amounts of liquid.  she tried to eat some saltine crackers and drink 7-up.  we initially thought she had a flu.   very shortly before she left us, she appeared almost in a dream state.  she spoke little but told us she heard us talking.  then it was over.   my mama had no pain at all.  this is a terrible and strange cancer.   my mama is with me as an angel.  i love her so very much.   please go and be with your grandmother.

RE: Last few days

by sledd on Sun Dec 05, 2010 07:28 PM

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My mom awoke too just before passing on. She was so suprised to see me and asked "What are you doing here"? Apparently she had experienced seeing beyond.

I asked her if she had seen my dad and she nodded her head yes.  I told her it was alright for her to go and she just smiled and was so relieved.

She passed on that nite.

RE: Last few days

by tjobos85 on Mon Dec 06, 2010 08:45 PM

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I FEEL YOUR PAIN

My brothewr Danny with stage 4 P.C. since 01/08/10. Lived in Seattle last 30 years. Brought him home to Boston for 6 months where he received chemo at Dana Farber. Tumors shrunk he went back to Seattle to live his life in July. Chemo no longer working and he is beginning to experience more pain, confusion, weight loss and severe hiccups. Has weeks to months. Will live out his days in Seattle. I have my mom and four brothers as well as extended family in Boston. Brothers and I have been periodically out to Seattle. I was there a month ago and I now know it is catching up to him. Asked him to come home to Boston but he declined. Will examine death with dignity as law allows in the State of Washington. Really sucks being on a long distance death watch each and every day and trying to gauge what to do. Feel so hopeless at times. He is single and has his friends looking after him but I wish he was here. Yours prayers and thoughts are truly appreciated. What to look for near the end as far as symptons for I am planning to go back out soon. Early intervention hospice and visiting nurse in place.

Sincerely

Tom O.

Boston, Ma.

 

RE: Last few days

by debbiedobug on Sat Aug 17, 2013 02:45 PM

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I have just joined this group. My boyfriend from highschool (30) years ago came back in June. In July he was diagnosed with PC stage 4. This is one month later. He has had one round if chemo but us extremely swollen in lower extremities. I was wondering how long your brother lived and what state he was in when diagnosed.

RE: Last few days

by shaqueana on Wed Sep 10, 2014 05:49 AM

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Good evening my name is shaqueana peoples and my mother just  passed away with cancer the doctors told us she had weeks to live so we took her on vacation and allowed her to spend her last few days enjoying her self and making her fell comfortable. It's not really you can do but just enjoy every moment she's here and keep in mind that you will see her again and know she's going to a better place where she doesn't have to suffer anymore. Try to get some spiritual help if point so you can heal through this difficult time of your life. It's not going to be easy but you can make it with the help of God

RE: Last few days

by lestom on Wed Sep 10, 2014 07:50 PM

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It is my fear, that my husband who is stage 1V PC will linger and be in pain, I don't want him to suffer

He has had a prognosis of 6 months, that was in July, he has started chemo and will be having his third session this week on cycle 1

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