About all of this craziness

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About all of this craziness

by tawny111 on Tue Jan 03, 2012 05:01 AM

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I feel so bad for the woman i read that did indeed lose her husband, Yes, all that she stated is correct, I do not have the message beside me, yet, it all hit's home.

I feel like i'm sitting in a house of glass, and it shattered and i'm staring at him, he is staring at me, we are not what we were, we become divided at times, patience goes out the window, the reality of the situation is neither his or my fault, and somewhere, there has to be someone up there looking down at us, and making sure it's all going to be okay.

Cancer?  Life interrupted? New rules, new regulations?

Broken heart? Fighting the system?... all and more...I start to wonder, how on earth am i gonna cut the grass? We live in a 1920's house that was built up on a big ol hill.....the grass has 2 parts...the top hill and the lower (which is a bitch)  an uneven slippery slope, actually dangerous..

this should be a blog, i cannot sleep at all.  No, our friends work and hate doing their own grass, so pay, pay, pay...

Today, i went to the ER for my ear being plugged..it would've taken 1/2 hour for someone to "fix" it?  4 hours, and finally nurse crachett came in and did me in, yes, that ugly wax thing completely clogged my ear, the other nurse was getting nowhere...i was about to get out of there, until she showed up...whoa, she tried 3x and finally got my ear back to normal...she had a big syringe with a needle type end in it! and pushed it right into my ear to the point of no return...i wobbled out of the ER, yet, a bit blessed, eh? No kidding, when i was leaving that room i sat in forever..i got my paper's to go home....another woman stood in front of me and said.,"you owe a $50 co-pay today, was i gonna be held hostage? I had the cash on me, got the receipt and ran...only to come home to, too much sadness that i cannot discuss with my friend, she would never understand, hate to sound a bit corny, yet CC has gotten me to the point of understanding the word cancer, accept that scary word, accept things that are not acceptable ....then wake up tomorrow, with knowledge....I am not alone!

Thank you all warriors! xoxoxoxo

RE: About all of this craziness

by jocook on Tue Jan 03, 2012 05:30 AM

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boy, do i understand, my husband has been battling terminal pancreatic cancer for almost four years. four years of appts,and rads and chemo and more chemo.i have lymphedema so i am also receiving treatments. no family, we are totally on our own. you are a warrior ,fighting right along with him . i bet sometimes, when you have answered the millionth question about his health and yours you will wish that old ear wax was back because i wish i were deaf sometimes,lol

RE: About all of this craziness

by tawny111 on Tue Jan 03, 2012 06:04 AM

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wow, jo, you've been thru the entire ordeal, i am so sorry and quite understanding of what your message was...yes, we are totally on our own, i was not born and raised with a thought or bringing up...that it would turn out this way?  it happened and it's getting real tough...the story i told was real, to get people off-base for the moment, that's all it was..if ya remember the end..i came home to cancer....tks for the compliments, you are a warrior also, yet, why on earth does it happen to plain, ol good folks like us?

Pleae (LOL) don't start a new threat about ear wax!  if ya do, i"ll go on and on about that (big smiley) 

yes, i'm on the millionth question with all due respect!

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