im giving up

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RE: im giving up

by andrewsmommy222 on Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:06 PM

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i really cant deal for real. im on the edge. i see my pain meds sitting by me and all these thoughts race thru my head.. i see my son and smile. but know he really does deserve better. i hear these stories bout how chemo or radiation help people or with the  leisons they have but me? no theres nothing they can do for me!! i hate the doctors whn i first got sick who brushed me off and said it was all in my head!! i hate that i kkep losing weught. the fact that im tired all the time that i cant be the mother my kids deserve!! the fact my daughters father is keeping her from me!! i hate everything about myself!! i talked a lil to my dad and aunt today but it didnt help.. im never gonna be cured of this.. i hate it i really dont wanna be alive anymore!!

RE: im giving up

by togawendy on Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:39 PM

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yes you do!!!!! please see if you can talk to a therapist and get on some anxiety medication.  Or just to have somebody close by to talk to because people care.  I just came home from bringing my mom back in to the hospital, this chemo is killing her but she is fighting it.  You just have to...

RE: im giving up

by Susan327 on Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:50 AM

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I am sorry you are in so much pain and distress. if you believe in God ask Him to be with you. if you don't believe in God ask Him anyway -- it can't hurt. You can tell Him how mad and hurt you are about being so sick. Then Listen to some music or take a warm bath and see if you can sleep. Sometimes doing something simple and ordinary helps. Your children are so young and every day you can spend with them is a gift for you and them. I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. Susan

RE: im giving up

by eternalife on Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:58 AM

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You are too special . You are the light to your children... please please be good to yourself.... they deserve to see you for a very long time.... and to have fond thoughts about you and all that you have done for them... God loves you and has made you in his likeness... we are the salt of the earth and the light to the world....

I will pray for you to be strong... and that there is hope...

God bless you and keep you

 

RE: im giving up

by andrewsmommy222 on Thu Apr 19, 2012 04:13 AM

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whats the point really? im dying anyway and gonna die at a young age.. so whats the point of even trying? i cant stop crying no matter what.

RE: im giving up

by onarolll on Thu Apr 19, 2012 04:25 AM

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Good luck and much love to you, wherever you are and whatever you do.

RE: im giving up

by pineconepeg on Thu Apr 19, 2012 04:29 AM

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It's okay to cry.  It's okay to hate the hurtful things in your life.   It is great that you are reaching out to this website for understanding and support.  For a little while let the encouraging words, the love, and the prayers carry you.  You can give up if you are too tired to fight, but others will not give up on you.  It is never too late for a miracle.  So please rest and let us pray for you and send love and healing thoughts your way.  May God bless you, may his love embrace you, and may His will be done in your life.

RE: im giving up

by keephopefordad on Thu Apr 19, 2012 05:04 AM

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only you know when it is time to give up...I dont believe that giving up is a bad thing, when you are in so much pain and there is nothing that can make that go away. my dad is dying of lung cancer...I think he might not make it thru  tonight. I feel so  helpless...the doctors said he is too old for chemo, and suggested radiation.  He is 86, and tired and in pain. I cant stand to see him suffer..We will all leave this life at some point.Being in peace and pain free is not a bad alternative to suffering 

Peace to you...

RE: im giving up

by Dlynn1210 on Thu Apr 19, 2012 01:15 PM

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On Apr 19, 2012 5:04 AM keephopefordad wrote:

only you know when it is time to give up...I dont believe that giving up is a bad thing, when you are in so much pain and there is nothing that can make that go away. my dad is dying of lung cancer...I think he might not make it thru  tonight. I feel so  helpless...the doctors said he is too old for chemo, and suggested radiation.  He is 86, and tired and in pain. I cant stand to see him suffer..We will all leave this life at some point.Being "" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://point.Being " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">point.Being in peace and pain free is not a bad alternative to suffering 

Peace to you...

I understand you are hurting right now and I can truly empathize with you since I lost my first husand (who was also my best friend) to lung cancer many years ago.  

We can't know what kind of peace death brings but we do know what the death of a loved ones brings to those left behind that loved that individual.  This 31 year old mother has two beautiful children that can look back one day with pride - admiring their mother for enduring what she had to in order to be there for them OR they can feel pain every time someone even mentions the word "mother".  Life is throwing her some terrible curves right now but lifechanges on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis.  Only God knows what our tomorrows hold and when it is time to give up but accepting God's decision is not the same as taking matters into our own hands.

It may be a good idea for you to take a break from responding to posts right now to allow yourself time to get through a period of grieving. If you were thinking clearly I'm sure your response would have been very different.     

Diana     

RE: im giving up

by Susan327 on Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:20 PM

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I hope you are feeling a little better tonight. One thing you said that bothered me was that you hate yourself. I am not sure why you feel that way. Sometimes people blame themselves for not finding some way to avoid the bad things that happen to them, even though there was nothing they could have done to stop it.  Sometimes people feel angry with themselves because they feel like they did not use their time in this world well.  I don't know why you say you hate yourself, but you don't need to be hated right now.  Please try talking to your family again - if that does not help see if your doctor or the hospital social worker can put you in touch with someone that you can talk too.

Susan

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