Worried about my husband

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RE: Worried about my husband

by swdesertlover on Fri May 25, 2012 12:54 PM

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Thanks for all of your thoughts on this.  I have not spoken with his doctor, but have talked with her assistant to just let her know a few things that are going on.  I'm hoping she'll pass this on to his doctor before his next appointment in a little over a week.  My concern is that he may not be getting the proper treatment if he's not being completely honest with them about how he's feeling.  We'll see what happens at his next appt.

Thank you all,

Cindy

 

RE: Worried about my husband

by bestfriendmom on Fri May 25, 2012 01:39 PM

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I have the same problem with my mother.  She goes to the doctor's and they ask her how she is.  She tells thme that she is fine.  I have started to make sure that I go to all appointments with her so the doctor's know how she is really doing.

RE: Worried about my husband

by Joan_l_3 on Fri May 25, 2012 09:43 PM

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Hi Cindy,

I understand both your concern about your hubby's seemingly deteriorating condition and your fear of 'throwing him under the bus'.  My husband was very much like yours.  I would ask you to remember that, unless your oncologist is a complete idiot, she is very much aware of your husband's changing condition.  The doc should be carefully watching the scale, the labs and everything else that is going on with your husband.  What may be happening is that the doc is just not telling all she knows, especially if neither you or hubby is asking.  Many patients and their families prefer not to know details about exactly what is going on.

Perhaps you might concentrate on doing fun things with your husband when he is able to go out, and support him as best you can in that way.  If you feel you must have details, have a talk with your husband first, make sure that is his wish, and if it is, let him bring it up with the doc.  I don't mean to sound harsh, just want to remind you that he is the patient and should be the one to call the shots, as long as he is in control of all his faculties.  Your job is to support him to the best of your ability, sometimes harder than being the patient!

Best wishes to your family as you deal with this horrendous disease. 

RE: Worried about my husband

by Freddie8511 on Fri May 25, 2012 09:58 PM

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Dear Cindy,

Boy do I hear you.  My husband Freddie is the same way.  Finally told him that he wasn't helping anything by not telling what the side effects were that he was suffering with.  When he fainted, he started letting me tell them everything.  Sheila, Freddie's wife

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