End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

80 Posts | Page(s): Prev 12...6 7 8 

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Shugarhigh on Sat Aug 11, 2018 02:51 PM

Quote | Reply
On a different note, I would like to share something wonderful that happened a few days after my mother went into hospice. Despite her mostly delirious and confused phases, one evening while I was by her bedside telling her I was going to step out for a while to get dinner, she suddenly asked to hold my hand. She was in a small window period where she seemed to be of clear mind and While holding my hand, she said I was very kind to her and thanked me for taking such good care of her and for everything i had done for her. I fought back to hold my tears. All the hard times we had and the mean things she said over the past 2 years melted away. After I got back from dinner, sadly she was back to her drowsy and confused state. But that minute talking with her is still so clear today n will be in my heart forever.

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by sushmanem on Mon Aug 13, 2018 01:30 AM

Quote | Reply

Hi Shugarhigh, I have been reading your messages on your mother all along. I know in my heart how saddening the journey would have been and it doesnt stop here. This is in India. I had just turned 20 when my dearest father passed away from this gruesome cancer. My younger sister was about to turn 18. My father was only 50 years old. In my life, I had only seen him fall sick from basic things like flu very few times. He was working remotely, so was always on the move. I had just finished my Engineering, I was placed into a company, my family was very happy especialyl my father - he was very proud. It was later October in 2008 and it all started with jaundice. We saw his eyes were yellow and Mum and Dad went to a local doctor. Doc prescribed medicines for jaundice, less we knew they wouldn't work. He went back in and they ran some tests and more tests and more tests. I had to start my first ever job meanwhile. When they did endoscopy they told us there was a big tumour on top of the bile duct and that it had spread to his stomach. He was given 6 months. He was a perfectly fine, healthy and active man. He had no warnings leading up. He took second opinion and heard no different. He got weaker and skinnier. Because I had to go to work everyday, my mother and sister would take him to the hospital, and looked after him. My mother took him to naturopathy doctors, nothing helped. There was nothing we could do. I wasn't matured enough to share his feelings. He was an avid reader, a wise and good man. He would get frustrated at times, but nothing seemed to stop. He passed away in the hospital on 27 Jan 2009. He had only lived for 3 months since he was diagnosed. Like everyone has been a victim, he became delirious in the last 2 days. On top of that, he was in agony from his left arm. The nurse didnt needle him at the right spot and he complained he was in pain. Something we had never ever heard in our lives. That broke all our hearts. Extended family came by to see him, he saw everyone on the evening of 26th. All of us were heading home. I was staying with him the 2 nights before, but that night Mum didnt let me stay as she wanted me to not miss work the next morning. So I left and my Uncle stayed the night. He died that night in his arms. Uncle called home and asked everyone to come to the hospital. That day is the most saddening day of our lives. We were not a family anymore. It wasn't easy, it still isn't easy for us, especially for my mother who is only 54 now. 10 years on, my sister and I are married now, but we still miss him terribly and continue to miss him. You will miss your mother, but it gets better over time. We all wish they didnt go through the pain and trauma, but I remind myself that he always wanted me to be happy and be good. I do remember the good times with him and all of us as a family, and the sweet moment with your mother in her last few days, you will grow to love that moment. It will keep you going. All the good luck to you.

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by tashalex on Mon Aug 13, 2018 06:41 AM

Quote | Reply

On Aug 10, 2018 12:54 AM Shugarhigh wrote:

Hi friends My mom passed away last week , 31st July, on her 11th day in the hospice. Although she is no longer in pain, it was still Very hard and sad to see her go. She stopped talking the day before she passed and skipped all 3 meals. We gave her little sips of water. She would occasionally raise her arms up in the air but we didn’t know what she wanted. The care team got us to bring in friends and family who wanted to see her. On the day she passed away, she was not awake most of the day. However she did wake up and squirmed a few times, with her eyes wide open. I couldn’t help thinking she looked so scared n struggling yet there was nothing we could do to help but to talk to her to comfort her. By late morning, the doctor checked and told us her pupils were dilated and that she would probably leave us anytime. We stayed in her room that whole day... and she slept after the struggling episodes. She never woke up again and she stopped breathing by evening. Although more than a week has passed, it still feels like it was yesterday. The funeral came and went so quickly. Being busy kept me from crying and feeling sad. But now that it’s all over, I find myself slowly coming to terms with not having someone to look after... not opening the door to see her sitting on her spot on the sofa.... not preparing her meals. I even miss her unreasonable and strange comments that she made when her mind wasn’t all there. Thanks esp Judy and Tasha for your thoughts, love and prayers during this journey!

Hi SHugarhigh,

I am so so sorry my friend. my sincere condolences to you and your family. this has been such a hard journey for you I know :( And for you mommy too. That empty feeling is so hard, the saddness so overwhelming, i cant help but think of my moms last few hours too.

I am sending you a great big hug accross the oceans, sending you my love and light, to guide you through this next phase.

Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to get as much rest as possible. i was totally wiped out after my moms passing, it grew worse 2 weeks after as thats when it really hit me. the world went dark, the fear of this decease took over my every fibre, i was overwhelmed with saddness and confusion. it was a long healing process but you will see the light again, carry your mom in your heart always. You are a truly amazing daughter and she is definetly so very proud of you my friend. i wish i was there to listen to you, and comfort you. 

You are in my thoughts. May your mommy rest in peace.

Love Tasha

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Shugarhigh on Thu Aug 16, 2018 02:48 PM

Quote | Reply
Thank you so much sushmanem for your sharing. It brought tears to my eyes. It must have been hard having to be in that situation at your age back then. Your dad must be proud of you. Thank you Tasha for all your hugs and love! This place has been a great support for me... a place for me to rant, a place where we all can understand what each other is going through n a place with so much love and support. Even though we are all far apart and across the oceans, we are all connected by having travelled this same sad journey. My all our dear loved ones Rest In Peace, free of all pain and suffering. And may all of us find peace in our hearts in time to come.

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by tashalex on Tue Aug 28, 2018 01:33 PM

Quote | Reply

On Aug 16, 2018 2:48 PM Shugarhigh wrote:

Thank you so much sushmanem for your sharing. It brought tears to my eyes. It must have been hard having to be in that situation at your age back then. Your dad must be proud of you. Thank you Tasha for all your hugs and love! This place has been a great support for me... a place for me to rant, a place where we all can understand what each other is going through n a place with so much love and support. Even though we are all far apart and across the oceans, we are all connected by having travelled this same sad journey. My all our dear loved ones Rest In Peace, free of all pain and suffering. And may all of us find peace in our hearts in time to come.

Hi Shugarhigh,

How are you doing? Think of you so often, and i know that it is really tough. 

Thinking of you and sending you a hug.

xxx

Tasha

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Shugarhigh on Thu Sep 06, 2018 02:59 PM

Quote | Reply
Hi Tasha, I was just thinking about you the other day and came in here and saw your message. Thanks so much for all your thoughts and love. Xxx I’m coping, and have been busy settling legal matters . Sigh... Some days it just feels like mom is still at the hospice but it’s just that I’ve forgotten to go visit her. :( Shugarhigh

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Shugarhigh on Mon Dec 24, 2018 03:04 PM

Quote | Reply
Hi everyone! Dropping by to wish everyone a Blessed Christmas. Wishing you all the warmest of the season and sending Lots of love over from where I am. It’s probbaly hard to be merry, but the good memories will Be what we hold onto this Christmas!

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Valeriepannone on Fri Jul 26, 2019 03:15 PM

Quote | Reply

On Sep 21, 2012 6:15 PM amiehood21 wrote:

Hello,

 

I posted a previous discussion about the diagnosis of my 48 year old dad. He is now in the end phases of bile duct cancer and I am looking to get some more information on what the "end" will be like?

 

We have started hospice recently. He has had alot of trouble with his ears feeling stopped up (don't know if this is associated with cancer symptoms or not?). He has been less interested in food and has been vomitting alot lately. Last night he fell in his bedroom and then today he fell off the porch. The hospice nurse advised to keep him down in the bed to reduce the risk of breaking any bones. Can anyone tell me if their loved one started taking falls? We aren't sure if this could be attributed to the lack of food or if its just something he will go through.

 

I am sorry if this post is vague or if I am rambling, I am just desperately looking for more answers so that I can be prepared for what is happening and what is going to come.

 

Thank you all.

 

Amie

Hi Aime I'm Val, I was reading your blog.. how is everything going? How are you holding up?

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by Jep17 on Tue Jul 30, 2019 12:18 AM

Quote | Reply
Hi Tasha and Sugarhigh. It’s been almost a year and for me over a year. Just wanted to check in and see how you guys are doing. I’m sure it’s been a difficult year. I know it has been for me. I hope you guys are healing and taking good care of yourselves ??Judy

RE: End Stages of Bile Duct Cancer

by tashalex on Tue Jul 30, 2019 06:26 AM

Quote | Reply

On Jul 30, 2019 12:18 AM Jep17 wrote:

Hi Tasha and Sugarhigh. It’s been almost a year and for me over a year. Just wanted to check in and see how you guys are doing. I’m sure it’s been a difficult year. I know it has been for me. I hope you guys are healing and taking good care of yourselves ??Judy

Hi Judy,

Very tough, missing both my parents so much. that dreaded disease left huge scars on all of us, not only did it take my parents but it left a trail of pain, fear and destruction. Life will never be the same without them but i have learnt to appreciate every minute of my life, my family and my friends too. Lessons we learn through the loss and pain. Sending you my love and Sugarhigh too. thank you for checking up on me.

80 Posts | Page(s): Prev 12...6 7 8 
Subscribe to this message board discussion

Latest Messages

View More

We care about your feedback. Let us know how we can improve your CancerCompass experience.