Lost mom to lung cancer

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Lost mom to lung cancer

by MikeBronx526 on Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:23 AM

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I'm new to this. I am 20 years old. And 3 weeks ago I lost my mother to lung cancer. Her battle was 16 months long and I'm just so damn mad and angry and sad I don't know what else to say. She was my best friend. She had a nice fight and I was with her every step of the fight. She caught phuenomia December 22 and missed christmas and died 2 weeks later. I feel so lost and confused. Have many of you lost your mom or dad to cancer ? How do you cope ? It's all I think about

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by shelby0268 on Wed Feb 06, 2013 12:39 AM

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I'm new too.  My mom was diagnosed with sarcoma of the leg in October and yesterday we just found out it has spread to her lungs.  As with you, my mom is my best friend and I worry every day what I'm going to do without her so my heart goes out to you. I don't know the answer.  I wish I did. But know that there are people out there who care and share your pain.  Hopefully this site will help you connect with people who can help.  I pray that you find some peace.

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by MikeBronx526 on Wed Feb 06, 2013 01:23 AM

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It's the hardest thing. I was with her everyday and 2 septembers ago when she was diagnosed I knew I had to cherish each moment. I knew it was going to get ugly. But what gets me sick is the false hope the doctors gave us saying she would see her grand kids. I cried many nights even when she was alive. Basically rehearsing the day that she would die. Very painful. I brought her down to chemo every week at sloan kettering hospital in New York where we live. There very comforting there. She was my best friend ever. I did everything for her. Shopping. Grocerys picking up medicine. I did everything she needed during this period where she was unable to move around like she used to due to chemo knocking her down. So now I leave myself very confused about life. I'm stronger then most about this also. But it hits me hard. As my dad is also very sick. And I'm basically all by my damn self I have no support. At all. It's a damn joke that my mom was taking away from me.

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by GerardT on Wed Feb 06, 2013 02:08 AM

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Greetings Mike. I too lost my mother six years ago and understand the pain, the feeling that there is such a void without her. She raised me by herself, since my father abandoned us when I was 3 years old. I can tell you only that as time goes by, you will be able to remember those memories of her without feeling too sad; you will be able to laugh and share stories with other family members and honor her. Remember that you are part of her so she still lives in you. Our mothers never leave us. Although their physical being is resting, her soul and spirit is alive. God bless you and comfort you in these grieving times. Gerard

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by NINA78 on Wed Feb 06, 2013 07:42 AM

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On Feb 06, 2013 1:23 AM MikeBronx526 wrote:

It's the hardest thing. I was with her everyday and 2 septembers ago when she was diagnosed I knew I had to cherish each moment. I knew it was going to get ugly. But what gets me sick is the false hope the doctors gave us saying she would see her grand kids. I cried many nights even when she was alive. Basically rehearsing the day that she would die. Very painful. I brought her down to chemo every week at sloan kettering hospital in New York where we live. There very comforting there. She was my best friend ever. I did everything for her. Shopping. Grocerys picking up medicine. I did everything she needed during this period where she was unable to move around like she used to due to chemo knocking her down. So now I leave myself very confused about life. I'm stronger then most about this also. But it hits me hard. As my dad is also very sick. And I'm basically all by my damn self I have no support. At all. It's a damn joke that my mom was taking away from me.

Mike, I am very sorry that this all happened to you in young age. But know that you did everything you could do for your mom.  It will take time and you will miss her.  I am way older than you but still it is not easy.  I lost my mom to Brain cancer and from the start there was No hope for her so we did not get any false hope from the doctors.  We got a death sentence knowing when and how long my mom had time.  Yes I cried every night from dex to now after 2 months from her leaving us.  Hope time will ease your pain

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by NINA78 on Mon Mar 25, 2013 05:38 AM

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On Feb 06, 2013 1:23 AM MikeBronx526 wrote:

It's the hardest thing. I was with her everyday and 2 septembers ago when she was diagnosed I knew I had to cherish each moment. I knew it was going to get ugly. But what gets me sick is the false hope the doctors gave us saying she would see her grand kids. I cried many nights even when she was alive. Basically rehearsing the day that she would die. Very painful. I brought her down to chemo every week at sloan kettering hospital in New York where we live. There very comforting there. She was my best friend ever. I did everything for her. Shopping. Grocerys picking up medicine. I did everything she needed during this period where she was unable to move around like she used to due to chemo knocking her down. So now I leave myself very confused about life. I'm stronger then most about this also. But it hits me hard. As my dad is also very sick. And I'm basically all by my damn self I have no support. At all. It's a damn joke that my mom was taking away from me.

I am very sorry that you are going through the same things I did go.  My mom passed away from brain cancer 3 months ago.  I was reading your post as if I wrote it myself.  Yes, I cried many times like rehearsing the day she would go. It was sad days and still is even she is gone.  But the only relife I can tell you is she no longer suffering.  Not seeing her kids are doning the basic things of life for her is a relief.  Sometimes reality hit more worse when other people tell that they are sorry for my lose and it hits me more to realize she is gone.  Maybe I am not realistic or maybe becasue she lives through her kids and that is why I believe she is not gone.  True I miss her laugh, her comforting me, her being by my side no matter how wrong I was,  and her trust in me.  She trusted in me so much which scares me that I let her down not able to make her better.  I promised her I will do my best to make her better, her to walk, her to travel but still she is gone! and that hurts.  Those memory I made with her when she was sick hurts, promises that I could not keep, seeing her suffer, seeing her in pain, seeing  her fall knowing that tumor is back, and thinking that we are/were cheated in life it Hurts.  But you and I have to realize that life goes on and we have to be strong to continue on. 

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by KimRea on Fri May 31, 2013 01:13 AM

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I lost my mom on the 30th of March, this year. Just wondering how things are going for you. I feel so lost too. Just wondering if you still think about it all of the time or if you seem to be adjusting now. Anyways, best of luck with everything!

Kim

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by Beekind2 on Wed Jun 05, 2013 03:39 PM

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On Feb 06, 2013 12:23 AM MikeBronx526 wrote:

I'm new to this. I am 20 years old. And 3 weeks ago I lost my mother to lung cancer. Her battle was 16 months long and I'm just so damn mad and angry and sad I don't know what else to say. She was my best friend. She had a nice fight and I was with her every step of the fight. She caught phuenomia December 22 and missed christmas and died 2 weeks later. I feel so lost and confused. Have many of you lost your mom or dad to cancer ? How do you cope ? It's all I think about

Sorry to hear about the passing of your mom.  My husband, Percy, courageously fought lung cancer for 2 1/2 years, until his passing on March 16, 2013.  I too, am upset and angry, not so much at his passing, but the fact that he suffered tremendously due to hospital staff neglience.  Prior to his passing, my husband was admitted to the critical care unit at a local hospital due to shortness of breath.  The very next day they booted him out of the critical care unit and placed him on the fifth floor in the hospital without oxygen.  Within two hours of being in his room, one of his tumors rupture and caused him to go into cardiac arrest.  He was without oxygen for 23 minutes because the hospital staff ignored the call button he had pressed before strangling to death on his own blood.  I am so angry because my son and I had just stepped out of the room to walk a visitor out and all of this happened while we were gone.  After the hospital performed CPR my husband was brought back to life, but remained comatose until the family made he decision to remove him from life support on March 16.  Ironically, the number 1 cause of death listed on his death certificate is anoxic brain injury, which he did not have when he entered the hospital. The only comfort I find at the moment is knowing that my husband is no longer suffering and at peace.

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by daddygurl on Mon Jul 15, 2013 09:15 PM

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I lost my Dad two months ago. He is all I think about. I loved him so mvery much and he was my only parent from the time I was 9 months old. My dad was my best friend as well. I find myself talking to him/praying to him. I picture him everywhere i go. it is unbelievably hard and there are times where i wonder will i ever feel like myself again and how am i suppose to in my 30's live the rest of my life without him. I completely understand it is just so incrediably hard and it truely doesn't matter what people say. telling you to remember the good times...when that is so hard when all you want is them. all you want is them back.

RE: Lost mom to lung cancer

by cancerloss on Wed Sep 18, 2013 09:03 PM

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On Feb 06, 2013 12:23 AM MikeBronx526 wrote:

I'm new to this. I am 20 years old. And 3 weeks ago I lost my mother to lung cancer. Her battle was 16 months long and I'm just so damn mad and angry and sad I don't know what else to say. She was my best friend. She had a nice fight and I was with her every step of the fight. She caught phuenomia December 22 and missed christmas and died 2 weeks later. I feel so lost and confused. Have many of you lost your mom or dad to cancer ? How do you cope ? It's all I think about
My sisters and I lost our mom to lung cancer with mets. It took us a good three years to come out of the daze. Now that is has been five years, it is easier. However, every few months, strong feelings resurface. I suspect this will continue indefinitely. We accept it. It was so very hard for the first year or so. It's as if you walk around in a surreal state. You want to pick up the phone and call your loved one, but then you realize you can't. Time will help memories replace the pain. It will get easier...
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