Some days I just feel lost

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Some days I just feel lost

by pooliepoo on Thu Mar 07, 2013 07:24 PM

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 i just finished my chemo and rad. and feel so lost and scared and feel like crying. Have to wait two weeks to get results and most of the time I feel like Im ok but today feeling really lost.

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by Randy1958 on Thu Mar 07, 2013 08:16 PM

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On Mar 07, 2013 7:24 PM pooliepoo wrote:

 i just finished my chemo and rad. and feel so lost and scared and feel like crying. Have to wait two weeks to get results and most of the time I feel like Im ok but today feeling really lost.

Hi poolie,

Believe me, everyone on this board (inlcuding me) knows the feeling.  Being diagnosed with cancer is, to put it mildly, devastating and frightening.  Being lost is a perfectly acceptable frame of mind . . . just remember you have family and friends to help.  What helped me over the last year is remembering my wife and children, and being a husband and father is my best role and one I gratefully fall back into.

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by SarahGrey on Thu Mar 07, 2013 09:13 PM

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hey pooliepoo...  you're not alone.  dont forget that...  

and do you know what helps?  cry.  go for it and have a good, looong, deep cry and get it out.  holding it in hurts.  let it out and when you're done (a minute, 5 minutes, 30 minutes later...) you'll feel better.  ;)

and again, dont forget - you're not alone here...

best, sarah

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by ourVictory on Fri Mar 08, 2013 06:43 AM

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I agree ,crying was part of my process but one of the psycologists I consulted told me  " do you know what happens to your immnune system when you are depressed? Those type of comments and support of family members as well as friends helped and  is still helping me go through this .

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by splash on Sat Mar 09, 2013 06:00 PM

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i know exactly how you feel. when i so believe that i'm strong enough to get through the day, i'm quickly blind sided with raw emotions. i cry alot, and then i feel bad cuz so many other cancer patients are so much worse off then me. then i feel rather selfish for my "pity-party". i tell you, some days are really hard.  hang in there. my prayers are with you.

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by jdykllr on Sun Mar 10, 2013 01:55 PM

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I agree with you Randy1958! I remembered when Steve was still hospitalized at UW Medical, one evening before I left to go home he told me..." don't forget about me over here, I can get pretty lonley" ....breaks my heart everytime I think of that. It's been little over a week since he left us. I miss him greatly:-(

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by RobinMB on Mon Mar 11, 2013 06:59 AM

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Oh, it is all very scary.  Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I start to write down all of the things I'm thankful for.  When my husband was diagnosed with GBM, I dropped down to my knees with devastation.  But, now I'm thankful that he's still here with me.   To get ourselves out of really sad moments, we try to watch funny shows like Seinfeld or Modern Family.  It helps to laugh even when you feel like crying.  But, do know that we are crying with you on this site.  Please take care and know that we want only the best for you!  Find a nice soft pillow and a fuzzy blanket to cuddle up in.  You need that right now!!!

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by elfprincess on Mon Mar 11, 2013 04:30 PM

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On Mar 11, 2013 6:59 AM RobinMB wrote:

Oh, it is all very scary.  Sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I start to write down all of the things I'm thankful for.  When my husband was diagnosed with GBM, I dropped down to my knees with devastation.  But, now I'm thankful that he's still here with me.   To get ourselves out of really sad moments, we try to watch funny shows like Seinfeld or Modern Family.  It helps to laugh even when you feel like crying.  But, do know that we are crying with you on this site.  Please take care and know that we want only the best for you!  Find a nice soft pillow and a fuzzy blanket to cuddle up in.  You need that right now!!!

I agree with RobinMB.  remeber things that you are thankful for and laughter helps a lot.  Maybe it's because I'm an odd ball, or perhaps its the fact that the last 3 years have been really crappy but when I was diagnosed 6 months ago I was just completely stunned.  expecting one thing to be told you have a brain tumor is like a mac truck running over you.  I mean how are you supposed to respond?  Nobody would give me answers besides "that is why we are scheduling a neurosurgeon consult for you".  I knew deep down that if I let it affect me that I would be where I was 2 years before with an emotional break down and without a job or insurance.  I couldn't let that happen.  So I guess I was fortunate that I have a family who grasp onto things quickly.  From the get go there have been jokes and humor applied to Damion (my tumors name).  People around us think we are literally crazy but sometimes humor is the best medicine.  There are times when humor won't help and I have learned that it is OK to get upset and be frustrated but I have also learned that you need to speak your mind.  nobody knows how you are feeling or what you are going through but you yourself.  so when you have a bad day... say so.. don't lash out and hurt someone just because they did or said something that irritated you, even though you think they would understand or blame your brain tumor....  But the one thing that I have found that helps me is sleep sometimes...  I get so tired on the anti-seizure medications and everything else i'm on that I can literally sleep a whole weekend and still wake up exhausted... but normally in a better mood.  or I pick up a book and I find msyelf in another land or time and away from reality for a while.  then other times it is a movie that i will watch to make me specifically cry (I have a few if you want recommendations-netflix ones nontheless).

Hell I'll tell you right now I am very thankful that despite Damion's presence in my life I am still able to drive, live alone, and do things that i might not be doing in 4 or 5 years if not sooner.  Be thankful for the little things in life, things that we take for granted every day...  build memories for loved ones now so they aren't overshadowed by bad memories in the future.

 

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by noodle85 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 09:50 PM

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Is it me or does it seem like people with brain rumors. Seem to have a bit more smarts than the non-tumorfied existence out there.

RE: Some days I just feel lost

by RobinMB on Tue Mar 12, 2013 12:15 AM

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I think there is research going on studying the relationship between intelligence level and brain tumors.  From what I've read, they think their might be a correlation.  And, to give credit to all of those out their with brain tumors, research may demonstrate that many people with brain tumors are highly intelligent.  Interesting, huh!!!

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