Completely Lost

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Completely Lost

by CompletelyLost on Mon Mar 25, 2013 07:18 PM

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 In December, my husband was really sick..I finally got him to the hospital for about 10 days with a dx of emphysema and bronchitis..I had known he had breathing issues for years but had been unable to get the VA to diagnose him. When he got out of the hospital; they began running tests on him...now the tests are taking over our lives. The last one was a radiography of his abdomen and pelvic area where they have found a mass on his pelvis/skelatal. On April 17th they are doing a neuron bone scan. His maternal grandfather died from bone cancer. They aren't telling us anything; however, his croutchty old VA doctor told him on his last visit that "he would be praying for him"...I can't stop crying..he is so depressed...we have a 10 year old son who worships his father...and 3 adult children..with 11 grandchildren. He doesn't want to talk about it, even with me...and we have always talked about everything. He won't let me discuss anything with the kids...he is scared and I am beside myself. My mind won't let me eat or sleep..he is on oxygen all the time for the emphysema and sleeping in his recliner all the time now...I feel like the ghost of the house because I seem to be walking around it lost all the time...I don't know what to do with myself and am so scared of loosing him...he is my heart and soul..I am completely lost right now...

RE: Completely Lost

by Ljenkins on Mon Mar 25, 2013 07:57 PM

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So sorry to hear the news of your husband. I'm sure he is going through the emotions and isn't sure even how to feel. The only advice I can give you is to not lose hope and do what you can to make him fight. You are in a tough place, because you have to stay stong in this because the sick one, yet you are in just as much emotional pain. The other thing I would suggest is get another opinion and make sure you read up in clinical trials. God bless you all.

RE: Completely Lost

by CompletelyLost on Mon Mar 25, 2013 08:35 PM

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Ljenkins,

Thank you for your warm response. I am completely lost and I am sure that he is too.

Normally, I am extremely strong..I know you are right..

RE: Completely Lost

by MizJay on Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:11 PM

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It is really understandable that you are frightened, especially with your husband being asleep so much of the time. It can be so easy to imagine the worst when you know something is wrong, but you're not sure what. Once you know what the problem is, you'll have a better idea of what you're facing, and what your husband's options are. Perhaps it will be something treatable.  It sounds like you do have quite a while to wait for additional testing; I know that is very hard. Tough too, to put on a brave face for your husband and child. 

I have been in your shoes, in a way, waiting for test results, fearing the worst and hoping for the best. It seems to take forever, and in the meantime, your mind goes in every direction.  Have you had a chance to ask the doctor what diagnoses they're considering, what's on their suspicion list, and if there's anything they've been able to rule out? 

Best of luck to you and your family during this difficult time.

J

RE: Completely Lost

by CompletelyLost on Tue Mar 26, 2013 03:49 AM

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Hi J,

The VA is among the worse for giving you any information. However, he has had a heart ultrasound and it turned out alright ~ well, not requiring any new medications or other treatment ~ there was damage from the lung disease and the normal thickening of the walls of the heart that comes with age. 

He has had a radiography taken from his chest to below his pelvis done and that is where they discovered abnormal lesions and an unexplaned mass...he is having some pain in that skeletal area and has a rampant family history of cancer especially bone cancer on his paternal side. His father, 2 uncles and his grandfather have all had bone cancer with or without other melanoma's. So it is very difficult not to jump to the conclusion that it could indeed be cancerous.

If they would have simply presented the facts as I know them so far; I might not have been so fearful BUT his primary VA doctor has the bedside manner of a stalk of wheat and for them to respond with an immediate appointment combined with an appointment to the hospital within 3 days of the radiography...then add in his doctors statement..

It is scary, and very difficult not to completely freak out...I know that I must be strong for my husband, son and other children..it is not easy though.

From what his doctor stated after the radiography, there does not appear to be any signs/symptoms of problems with any of his interal organs which is a huge relief..

RE: Completely Lost

by girlnextdoornco on Tue Mar 26, 2013 10:24 PM

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I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. The waiting and worrying can be debilitating!  Your husband may just need alot of time to process this and maybe he's just not ready to talk about it. While I don't know anything about your beliefs, you may be familiar with Psalm 23. I love the 4th verse of that Psalm and have found it to be a comfort during dark times. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me". I hope this brings some peace to your heart too. Praying for you and your family.

RE: Completely Lost

by MizJay on Wed Mar 27, 2013 12:49 AM

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It sounds like you are having to struggle with so many challenges right now! But you sound like you are managing with aplomb. I am glad to hear that he has had some tests that show good organ function. That must have been a relief. I hope you get more good news in the future, and that this period of waiting goes by quickly.  

RE: Completely Lost

by pipperpain on Sat Mar 30, 2013 02:32 AM

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i am so sorry to hear what i have been hearing too often, that our VA hospitals and doctors are not giving our vets A-1 care.  my thoughts are with you hopefully everything will be fine after the april tests.

RE: Completely Lost

by CompletelyLost on Wed Apr 17, 2013 05:37 PM

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UPDATE:

Today is the April Bone Scan..he had to be there at 8am even though the hospital is almost 3 hours away..then he had to sit there for 4 hours before the test began..which is approximately an hour of him lying on his back which I am sure he will have difficulty with...but he will do his best to comply with their wishes..not sure how long it will be before we know something..  Since all of this began, I have talked to several members of the family and have found that there is quite a history of cancer on both sides of his family...

Thank you to all of you who are sending him healing prayers..

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