dealing with death when not religious...need help

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dealing with death when not religious...need help

by livewell on Thu Jun 20, 2013 07:17 PM

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So, this has probably come up before but I was not able to find a relevant thread.  I've been going through some health issues lately and in my always busy mind I started thinking about the inevitability of death, and realized I have absolutely no idea how to cope with it.  I was raised by a wonderful family, and we are quite scientific, not religious (never went to church).  Also, I've never really had to deal with death through any of my close friends or family (I did lose my grandmother when I was 8, she was 87, but a bit too young to really "get it").  I guess I came to subconsciously expect life as guaranteed to be long.  Obviously that is not the case, and being 30 now, I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with all of these thoughts.  I've always been easily amused and love the simple things in life, but the thought of it all ending has always been an afterthought. 

I have such a deep rich love for life, but my current beliefs are that when you die, that's it, no afterlife, it's the final step.  But, that is a very grim outlook as it means there's nothing consciously there for you when you're done here.  So, I've started exploring other religions to see if anything makes sense to my scientific mind.  Buddhism seems very intriguing right now, as I would live life 100 times over if I could.  Also, the Christian afterlife does sound very appealing, although I find it increasingly hard to believe (not trying to offend anybody).  My girlfriend who I live with lost her mom when she was 16 which was traumatic for her, but through that experience she learned how to deal with death so well.  She believes in the christian form of afterlife though, as she was raised that way.

Anybody else going through this or have gone through this?  I would like to think that when I take my last breath on earth, a new chapter begins somewhere else, but it seems improbable to me.  I am feeling really stuck trying to figure this out! 

Note: This is not meant to be a religion bashing thread, I am just looking for some similar experiences and help! :)

Much love,

Mike

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by ourVictory on Thu Jun 20, 2013 07:41 PM

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MIke I'll let you know about it in no less than 100 yrs. Today I received two calls from my docs about several precautions-bad they said last month- and my schedule for next tweek and month schedule to see docs an continue treatment if my blood count improves enough THIs week-again Iam working on insurances, health, life, mortages as long as my condition-Brain Cancer- allows me. I was raised as catholic but still as long as i am on earth i have to deal with practical chores and do spiritual acts as much as possible since in my case it does helps me. gracias for sharing...Roberto

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by eternalife on Fri Jun 21, 2013 01:41 AM

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Mike, I appreciate your candor and contemplation on life after death.

One question, Who made you? Ponder that one.

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by jesichashope on Fri Jun 21, 2013 01:55 AM

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Well you don't have to be religious in order to have beliefs. One is a conditioning where you become part of something and obey rules and rituals; the other is open ended, it is your relationship and connection with your creator. So you don't have to belong to anyone but yourself and the universe is your playground.

Since you think, feel and love; there is more to you than just your brain or mind; there is that spirit that gives you intuition, makes you wonder, feel, and love; it gives you hope and fills you with joy. That is what will be there afterwards. Where and what you do is, I guess, totally up to your spirit.

Having gone through some deaths and nearly dying myself not so long ago; I come away with a different perspective, we are far more than what we think we are. There is another plane we enter, where time is naught and love is ever present. Peace exists in totality, we are forever connected to all things in all times within the plane of reality as we know it. 

A good book to read is: Proof of Heaven by Eben Alexander MD.  From science to believing, combining the two through a true experience.  I think you will get a lot from it.

Carolynbmaes Carolynbmaes
(Inactive)

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by Carolynbmaes on Fri Jun 21, 2013 01:57 AM

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On Jun 20, 2013 7:17 PM livewell wrote:

So, this has probably come up before but I was not able to find a relevant thread.  I've been going through some health issues lately and in my always busy mind I started thinking about the inevitability of death, and realized I have absolutely no idea how to cope with it.  I was raised by a wonderful family, and we are quite scientific, not religious (never went to church).  Also, I've never really had to deal with death through any of my close friends or family (I did lose my grandmother when I was 8, she was 87, but a bit too young to really "get it").  I guess I came to subconsciously expect life as guaranteed to be long.  Obviously that is not the case, and being 30 now, I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with all of these thoughts.  I've always been easily amused and love the simple things in life, but the thought of it all ending has always been an afterthought. 

I have such a deep rich love for life, but my current beliefs are that when you die, that's it, no afterlife, it's the final step.  But, that is a very grim outlook as it means there's nothing consciously there for you when you're done here.  So, I've started exploring other religions to see if anything makes sense to my scientific mind.  Buddhism seems very intriguing right now, as I would live life 100 times over if I could.  Also, the Christian afterlife does sound very appealing, although I find it increasingly hard to believe (not trying to offend anybody).  My girlfriend who I live with lost her mom when she was 16 which was traumatic for her, but through that experience she learned how to deal with death so well.  She believes in the christian form of afterlife though, as she was raised that way.

Anybody else going through this or have gone through this?  I would like to think that when I take my last breath on earth, a new chapter begins somewhere else, but it seems improbable to me.  I am feeling really stuck trying to figure this out! 

Note: This is not meant to be a religion bashing thread, I am just looking for some similar experiences and help! :)

Much love,

Mike

I am a Christian and I have a great faith in God. My faith is all I have that NOONE can take away from me !!!! If I didn't have faith I would have no Hope . I hope you find your way my friend .......before it is too late!! Carolyn

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by gobarb26 on Fri Jun 21, 2013 02:49 AM

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On Jun 20, 2013 7:17 PM livewell wrote:

So, this has probably come up before but I was not able to find a relevant thread.  I've been going through some health issues lately and in my always busy mind I started thinking about the inevitability of death, and realized I have absolutely no idea how to cope with it.  I was raised by a wonderful family, and we are quite scientific, not religious (never went to church).  Also, I've never really had to deal with death through any of my close friends or family (I did lose my grandmother when I was 8, she was 87, but a bit too young to really "get it").  I guess I came to subconsciously expect life as guaranteed to be long.  Obviously that is not the case, and being 30 now, I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with all of these thoughts.  I've always been easily amused and love the simple things in life, but the thought of it all ending has always been an afterthought. 

I have such a deep rich love for life, but my current beliefs are that when you die, that's it, no afterlife, it's the final step.  But, that is a very grim outlook as it means there's nothing consciously there for you when you're done here.  So, I've started exploring other religions to see if anything makes sense to my scientific mind.  Buddhism seems very intriguing right now, as I would live life 100 times over if I could.  Also, the Christian afterlife does sound very appealing, although I find it increasingly hard to believe (not trying to offend anybody).  My girlfriend who I live with lost her mom when she was 16 which was traumatic for her, but through that experience she learned how to deal with death so well.  She believes in the christian form of afterlife though, as she was raised that way.

Anybody else going through this or have gone through this?  I would like to think that when I take my last breath on earth, a new chapter begins somewhere else, but it seems improbable to me.  I am feeling really stuck trying to figure this out! 

Note: This is not meant to be a religion bashing thread, I am just looking for some similar experiences and help! :)

Much love,

Mike

I was born into a Jewish family and was very active in my youth group and Sunday school while I was in high school. However, I always felt empty...I didn't believe in God!  I searched for many years, comparing religions and decided that I just couldn't find anything to help me believe that God was there.  I have been a spiritual person and I thought if there was a God, it must be nature.  Well, go back 2 1/2 - 3 years ago and I started getting very sick!  I hadn't been diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma quite yet.  Little by little, I started finding things happening that could not be coincidental.  I started attending church with my husband, who happens to be Methodist.  All of a sudden, I had a whole new family!  They were all so wonderful to me.  By the end of that year, I made the decision to accept God and get Baptised.  It happened on my 63rd birthday, slightly over a year since my diagnosis.  I am very active in my church and I feel that I have a realy purpose and mission.  It is called FAITH and without it, I probably would not have the full and rich life that I am enjoying day by day!  I have been in remission for over a year and my husband and I discuss death a lot.  I am not afraid!  I have faith, because without it, there is just unhappiness and negativity surrounding you! Just my personal belief...HTH.

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by beatingcancer on Sat Jun 22, 2013 12:00 AM

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Dear Mike,

My name is Lynn. I am not a religious person, but I will share with you my story with gladness and respect for your search.

 Before I was 30 I had explored many avenues for answers to my own eternal destiny, but nothing gave any guarantees that proved to me they were right. After trying out several religions, I was frustrated because they all seemed like man-made philosophies with false hopes and alot of work to get it right, I am from Southern CA and I had many options available to choose from.

I was an RN and witnessed the dread and agony of people sick and hurting, not having any hope or answers to their future life. Finally, I realized that none of us will get out of here alive! This also made me focus on my own mortality, along with a broken marriage that no one could help me fix. 

 I was weary and exhausted, carrying a baggage of mistakes and bad choices that I could not get away from. Understand Mike, that we live in a fallen world caused by sin and rebellion against the Creator. The 10 commandments prove we can never measure up, it is only through the sacrifice of Christ that a reunion with God becomes possible. One night I cried out to the only One who loved us enough to take on the sins of the world as He suffered and died on that cross, so that all who come and trust in Him will be restored back to the Father God, for God and sin can never coexist, that is the reason it is Heaven.

Jesus Christ is the only One who was resurrected on the third day, no longer dead in the grave, but He came forth, alive walking and talking amongst the human race for 40 days to prove His eternal love and offering forgiveness to all those that surrender their life over to Him.  

I am sure your girlfriend understands what I am trying to explain. I pray this helps bring some answers to the most critical and important  question that anyone could ever ask and seek wisdom on.

May Christ touch you Mike and know Him as your Savior and Lord.

In christian love, Lynn    

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish,  but have everlasting life with Him." 

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by marysch on Sat Jun 22, 2013 12:59 AM

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On Jun 20, 2013 7:17 PM livewell wrote:

So, this has probably come up before but I was not able to find a relevant thread.  I've been going through some health issues lately and in my always busy mind I started thinking about the inevitability of death, and realized I have absolutely no idea how to cope with it.  I was raised by a wonderful family, and we are quite scientific, not religious (never went to church).  Also, I've never really had to deal with death through any of my close friends or family (I did lose my grandmother when I was 8, she was 87, but a bit too young to really "get it").  I guess I came to subconsciously expect life as guaranteed to be long.  Obviously that is not the case, and being 30 now, I'm becoming a bit overwhelmed with all of these thoughts.  I've always been easily amused and love the simple things in life, but the thought of it all ending has always been an afterthought. 

I have such a deep rich love for life, but my current beliefs are that when you die, that's it, no afterlife, it's the final step.  But, that is a very grim outlook as it means there's nothing consciously there for you when you're done here.  So, I've started exploring other religions to see if anything makes sense to my scientific mind.  Buddhism seems very intriguing right now, as I would live life 100 times over if I could.  Also, the Christian afterlife does sound very appealing, although I find it increasingly hard to believe (not trying to offend anybody).  My girlfriend who I live with lost her mom when she was 16 which was traumatic for her, but through that experience she learned how to deal with death so well.  She believes in the christian form of afterlife though, as she was raised that way.

Anybody else going through this or have gone through this?  I would like to think that when I take my last breath on earth, a new chapter begins somewhere else, but it seems improbable to me.  I am feeling really stuck trying to figure this out! 

Note: This is not meant to be a religion bashing thread, I am just looking for some similar experiences and help! :)

Much love,

Mike

Mike, I feel just like you do. I'm about to lose my husband maybe in just weeks from brain cancer. I love him dearly and feel like I will die without him. I'd love to think there is more, but....I have my doubts. Maybe I'm wrong.  I've enclosed a link to a quote by Bill Bryson, that says how feel.     .http://i.imgur.com/9dabX.jpg

 

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by livewell on Sat Jun 22, 2013 01:13 AM

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Thanks to everyone for the feedback and deep thoughts here, I really appreciate it!

While the Christian belief is very comforting, I am still having trouble believing it to be true (no offense intended at all, just how I feel). 

The more I think about it, the more I feel like the universe is our Creator, and when we "die" our energy simply changes form.  Those atoms will eventually make up other pieces of life, even human beings.  However, there is no real comfort in that belief, as it does not imply conscious thought or spirit.  But at the same time, I was "dead" for billions of years and didn't seem to mind so much.  This video seems to capture my thought process quite well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTuhSdvlX-A

I guess alternatively, I could remain agnostic, leaving a big question mark about what happens after death.  But, that is not necessarily a reason to be afraid of dying.  Though, there's no comfort in this option either, just extreme curiosity.

This is good stuff everyone, I really appreciate the discussion.  Please keep it coming!

RE: dealing with death when not religious...need help

by livewell on Sat Jun 22, 2013 01:27 AM

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Also, Mary, I'm very sorry to hear about your husband.  I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you!  While I don't know you personally, you have my deepest sympathy.

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