Took my little one to "visit" my mom today

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Took my little one to "visit" my mom today

by PunkyD on Wed Aug 07, 2013 08:10 PM

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I promised my 5 year old that I would take him to visit his grandmother the next chance I got.  So today, I took the day off from work (to be with my dad) and we went to the cemetery. He was very matter of fact about the whole thing, asked some questions, put a stone on the gravestone to mark that he was there and that was it.  5 minutes, simple as that. I do miss my mom so much.  My dad is so sad and I don't know how to help him.  We talk, we cry, and he is feeling so old, alone, useless, even though he is none of those things.  He is keeping busy, has amazing friends and we 3 daughters are doing our best to support and comfort him.  So does time heal or not?  I guess for some yes, and for some no. Only time will tell.   

RE: Took my little one to "visit" my mom today

by SarahGrey on Wed Aug 07, 2013 09:52 PM

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Hey Punky,

I'm glad the visit went well!  Kids can be funny sometimes...  (I mean in a cute way)  :)  And I think we underestimate their strength and especially the strength of being innocent...

About your dad...  Yes, I think it's totally individual.  I posted the other day that a random neighbor asked me if I was "feeling better yet?" and I was taken aback.  Personally, I don't ever expect to "feel better" and...  nor do I want to.  But again, everyone is individual. 

And maybe, just based on what you wrote, maybe just try to involve him in things you don't even need help with?  Find ways for him to "help" you - again, even things you don't need.  And specifically use that word.  For example, if you have him over for dinner - ask "Hey, can you help me and set the table?"  Or, if you're going food shopping, ask if he can help you out and come along? 

Personally, I just wanna be aloooooone, lol, but if your dad is feeling alone and useless, these things could probably help him out and it would probably be nice for all of you :)

Wishing you the best...

Sarah

RE: Took my little one to "visit" my mom today

by BAILY on Fri Aug 09, 2013 05:58 PM

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Punky ,

I feel that way at times myself I really am hard on myself at times.  i hate the being alone part so so hard let hope he come to a point in life where it won't be so hard I understand just where he is at now sad .

Hugs 2 your dad and u

Baily

RE: Took my little one to "visit" my mom today

by BAILY on Fri Aug 09, 2013 06:00 PM

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Punky,

 

 I feel the same way as your dad .Lets hope in time he feels better I feel really alone and I gotta keep busy all the time . I AM SEND YOU AND YOUR DAD A HUG

 

Baily

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