Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

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RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by Solutions on Mon Sep 30, 2013 05:21 PM

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Hello Daddysdaughter,

Oh yes the process moves fast at the ending stages.

As you may remember my wife Karen battled it for over 7 years. But one she said Leonard lets go to ER I am feeling in a way I have never felt before. We went to ER that evening and her doctor's were ther to meet us. A few test were done and we were told Karen would not be going home. She could stay with them (UCSF Medical Center) or to a hospice facility.

They told us Karen had a couple of months at the best. Well that was the worst feeling I have ever felt. Karen did not take it as hard as I did.. She told me she knew and she was ready. We talked alot about leaving and I always told her it was Okay.  Karen had a very hard 45 days.  A lot of medications for pain and other discomforts. I sayed with Karen 20 hours each day. She didn't sleep at night. The medications kept her acting in ways that were not her.

Your is in a hospice house, so you may not experience what I did...That in a way is good. It is not an experience you want be in.

Well, in closing the only thing I can say is to be with your dad as much as possible...when he gets closer the ending his journey talking to him will be almost impossible. The only thing you can do is listen...and that will not be a good experience. Just remember it is not your loving dad speaking it is all the damn medication.

Stay calm and stay with him as much as possible. The hard part is coming.

Take care...Leonard from Alamo California

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by daddysdaughter on Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:38 PM

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Hello Leonard-

We were told dad has maybe a few days perhaps weeks but will not make it til Halloween. He is turning jaundice and the itching is back. He is filled with fluid and already in heart failure. He has been too week to even sit up for over 3 weeks now. Believe it or not, he isnt in too much pain yet. He can go hours without morphine. He told my mom he has been seeing angels and that he is ready to go. My father is a wonderful man. I pray the lord takes him home soon. This is no way to live for anyone.

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by daddysdaughter on Mon Sep 30, 2013 10:40 PM

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Leonard-

I forgot to mention my parents live in Kentucky. I live in Pennsylvania. I spent the last week with my dad. I had to return home. I am okay not seeing the final days. The last week was hard enough. I doubt dad wants us to witness what is yet to come. I feel for my mom.

Sandy

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by Solutions on Tue Oct 01, 2013 01:25 AM

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Hello Sandy..It sounds like you have it all togther...Yes it will be hard on your mom...It was very hard for to see my Karen end her journed of life. But I was happy it all ended. I know as you know they leave this horrible painful life for a much better place. The one's left behind are the one's that now are hurting. And don't let any tell you time heals all...I does not.

Well take care, your new Cancer Compass friend...Leonard from California

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by LadyLinden on Tue Oct 01, 2013 04:08 AM

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Hi daddysdaughter, Please know that I am thinking about you during this very difficult time. I have bile duct cancer but choose not to do chemotherapy.  Your Father sounds like a very strong man with determination to live.  How brave.  I don't know if I could be that strong and be willing to go through what he is going through.  I have lost both my parents and I know it is not easy to watch the one who gave you life die. My thoughts are with you and your family.  LadyLinden

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by PunkyD on Tue Oct 01, 2013 04:59 AM

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Sandy,

Thinking of you................

Punky

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by mavcav on Tue Oct 01, 2013 02:40 PM

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On Sep 30, 2013 10:40 PM daddysdaughter wrote:

Leonard-

I forgot to mention my parents live in Kentucky. I live in Pennsylvania. I spent the last week with my dad. I had to return home. I am okay not seeing the final days. The last week was hard enough. I doubt dad wants us to witness what is yet to come. I feel for my mom.

Sandy

Sandy,

What you are going thru is so difficult and I am sorry that you are, but I just was so touched by this response to Leonard and felt compelled to tell you that. :)  I am very glad that you got to go see your Dad as I have been following your post and again, just found what you said so touching. :)  mavcav

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by daddysdaughter on Wed Oct 02, 2013 11:40 PM

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Thank You Leonard.

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by daddysdaughter on Wed Oct 02, 2013 11:42 PM

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Hi Ladylinden-  It's a personal choice to take chemo. It did give my dad a pretty good quality of life for 2.5 years. He is glad it did it.

 

Take Care and I wish you the best.

Daddysdaughter.

RE: Is my dad in the end stages of bile duct cancer

by daddysdaughter on Wed Oct 02, 2013 11:48 PM

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Thank you so much. My dad is not only the man who raised me but he was my friend, my voice of reason, my hero. I will miss our phone calls. He always used to say...How is my baby today? Even when he was sick he always wanted to know how I was, how my day was going. He never complained. Heaven is getting one remarkable man!!!

Daddysdaughter.

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