2nd Birthday without him

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2nd Birthday without him

by angel1959 on Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:53 PM

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Today is my husbands 56th Birthday My 2nd one without him he died from cancer that went to his brain just 3 months before his 55th birthday my profile picture is his 54th the last one we shared in 2012 just 9 months before he died I never would have thought how much my life would change

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by sue1234 on Wed Jan 29, 2014 10:59 PM

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I'm so sorry for loss. Prayer winging your way.

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by sue1234 on Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:00 PM

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I'm so sorry for loss. Prayer winging your way.

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by TFil727 on Thu Jan 30, 2014 02:01 AM

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Angel,

So sorry for your loss.  My thoughts are with you. My husband just passed the day after Christmas and his 54 birthday would have been yesterday. If you don't mind me asking....has the pain gotten any more bearable with time? I just feel completely overwhelmed and consumed with the loss of him. Any advice? Thank you and take care.

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by SarahGrey on Thu Jan 30, 2014 03:22 PM

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I'm sorry Angel...  Each "holiday", especially their birthday, brings out so much emotion...  :(   My husband's "1st" birthday is approaching very soon...  

Just curious what you do on that day?  I'm not even sure what to expect of myself and will just take the day as it comes...  

All the best, Sarah

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by angel1959 on Thu Jan 30, 2014 07:45 PM

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I just try to stay busy our next to the youngest daughter and our 7 yr old grandson baked him a cake i was not with them as they are about a hour away but we talked today makes 15 months for me since he passed so it is kinda hard to have back to back stuff going on in the month of Jan 

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by TFil727 on Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:51 AM

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Sarah,

Sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband in December and his birthday was Jan 28th.  Not an easy day.  I just tried to stay very busy during the day. Not looking forward to the rest of the holidays to come. 

If you don't mind me asking...when did your husband pass away? What kind of cancer did he have? Does it get any easier with time? I'm in the first month and it just seems to get harder at this point. Any advice? Thank you. Take care.

Tonia

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by SarahGrey on Fri Jan 31, 2014 02:27 AM

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Hi Tonia,

I'm so sorry for your loss as well...  :(

My husband passed 7.5 months ago to brain cancer...  

As for it getting easier with time - I can't answer that...  Everyone is so different.  There are so many widows here and while we all are grieving, so much of our grief seems so different.  And we all cope and "survive" differently.  Know what I mean?..  

For me, personally, no - it's not any easier.  My husband was/is absolutely everything to me.  He always will be.  And so it's not possible for my life to be easier...  BUT - I'm "ok" in the respect that I keep busy (that seems to be what helps nearly everyone - keeping busy).  I volunteer, I started working part-time again...  It helps.  Also, for me, my faith and understanding that this life is merely a "test" and that my husband and I will be reunited again helps me get through each day...

In general, and thinking back, I think a general trend is that the first month or so most people are in "shock" and then after that first month, it DOES get harder/worse for awhile.  Then it kinda tapers off and maybe you just get somewhat numb again...  But again, everyone is so different...  You just have to do what feels right to you and take it a day and an hour at a time.  And know that ups and downs are sooo normal.  And even if you feel great for a month, it's almost "normal" to fall back into despair again - but that you should feel better yet again.  Just be gentle with yourself and don't rush into anything and do whatever feels right to you.

When my husband first passed, Karynk (on this forum) gave me the best advice: to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I could manage to eat - to drink plenty of water - and to get rest because my body needed it.  And, to be gentle with myself...  And, like Karynk said, even a "donut" counts as food if that's all that you can manage to get down...  ;)

Wishing you all the best, Sarah

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by TFil727 on Sat Feb 01, 2014 01:47 AM

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Sarah,

Thanks so much for all of the advice. I appreciate it.  One day at a time I guess. Seems to be my motto lately. 

I can't imagine my life getting easier either.  He was the love of my life!!! And I hate that I have to live without him. 

I am going to continue staying busy. That definitely seems to help me also. Thanks again for your help. Take care.

Tonia

RE: 2nd Birthday without him

by RobinMB on Sat Feb 01, 2014 04:53 AM

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Some of my friends have been telling me how lucky I was to have been married to the love of my life.  It sounds like you adored your husband too.  This is helping me get through each day.

For my husband's birthday, I plan on writing sentimental messages on those beautiful chinese lanterns and letting them fly off toward the heavens. 

Praying for strength for all of us who have lost our husbands.

Robin

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