Bad news

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Bad news

by randr2210 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 07:40 PM

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Well, I found out today that the stuff in my lungs that used to be nodules is cancer.  Back on the chemo.  I had a nice break, got my old life back for about ten months, went back to the office, bought a car, took a vacation.  Now all that is over, and it's back to chemo misery again.  I am quite depressed. 

Anyone know of someone whose cancer metastisized to their lungs?  My doctor tells me that the nodules were cancer all along.  The cancer just remained dormant for over a year, until it raised its ugly head recently.  I question that, because there are others on here that have had nodules that were not cancer.

I'm in shock, I guess I shouldn't be, but I still am.  I haven't fully processed this yet.  I know a huge anxiety attack is in my near future.  And when it starts it will be a doozy.

Damn this cancer.  Sorry, but I must feel sorry for myself today.  So I will be a much more active participant on these boards now.  I can use all the education and support there is out there.

RE: Bad news

by mavcav on Wed Feb 12, 2014 07:49 PM

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randr2210,

So sorry to read that you did not get good news and that the nodules are actually cancer.    :-(

What Chemo will you be having this time?

I can't answer your question about the cancer metastisizing to the lungs as my husband's did not, but I am sure others will be able to help you with that aspect.  

Have your down day today as that is warranted and expected when news is not good.  Once you process your news, do your best to stay positive and keep fighting the fight!             mavcav

RE: Bad news

by cb531 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 07:52 PM

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You have every right to vent all you want. I am sorry that this cancer has entered your lungs but you have had such a great response to everything so I am sure that it will continue for you this way. Hang in there.

Tell us all about your vacation!! Would love to hear about it.

sending prayers your way Cathy xo

RE: Bad news

by randr2210 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 07:56 PM

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On Feb 12, 2014 7:49 PM mavcav wrote:

randr2210,

So sorry to read that you did not get good news and that the nodules are actually cancer.    :-(

What Chemo will you be having this time?

I can't answer your question about the cancer metastisizing to the lungs as my husband's did not, but I am sure others will be able to help you with that aspect.  

Have your down day today as that is warranted and expected when news is not good.  Once you process your news, do your best to stay positive and keep fighting the fight!             mavcav

Thanks, mavcav, for the kind words.  This is the part I don't understand.  Why the nodules were not even questioned.  They noted their presence on the scans, but the nodules were never suspicious.  They stayed dormant for such a long time.  My doctor said that the cancer metastisized at the same time it grew in the pancreatic tumor, almost simultaneously.  That's why the disease is so deadly.  It spreads before it's even discovered or diagnosed.  I hate chemo and I dread the thought that this poison is the only thing to keep me alive going forward.

RE: Bad news

by randr2210 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 08:02 PM

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On Feb 12, 2014 7:52 PM cb531 wrote:

You have every right to vent all you want. I am sorry that this cancer has entered your lungs but you have had such a great response to everything so I am sure that it will continue for you this way. Hang in there.

Tell us all about your vacation!! Would love to hear about it.

sending prayers your way Cathy xo

Cathy, I went on a cruise over Halloween.  It was wonderful, and it was also before the onset of this horrible winter weather.  It felt so good to be carefree and out in the middle of the ocean, without a care in the world.  Of course I couldn't erase cancer from my mind completely.  That black cloud follows me everywhere.  I also had to be very careful about what I ate because my digestive system is very sensitive to certain foods now.  I had the stamina to keep up with the activities.  I proved something to myself, that I could do it.  That I wasn't the fearful cancer patient.

Now I'm afraid I'll never have the opportunity to feel that way again.  Any hope I had with the nanoknife and possible resection is now gone forever.  I needs to sink in. 

I'm not ready to give in.  I fully intend to fight this thing.  But I hate how it just consumes your way of life.

Thanks so much for the kind words.  It means a lot to me!

RE: Bad news

by Carien on Wed Feb 12, 2014 08:10 PM

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So sorry to hear it, rand2210, how afwul for you. be sad today, but also try to be grateful for the wonderful time you had and that you had the wonderful vacation and cherish those memories.

Carien

RE: Bad news

by Oudave83 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 09:14 PM

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U have ever right to feel the way u do........u r like a warrior who was given10 months shore leave but now must fight again on the front line...thank you for your bravery and courage and I pray for your peace of mind and serenity........don't ever let the small c others call cancer define you, because your post shows us you are so much more and forever the warrior and an example for each of us fellow head and neck warriors to imitate. Oudave83

RE: Bad news

by eternalife on Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:01 PM

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I am so sorry to hear about the mets to the lungs.. remember how you have been so strong before and keep living life that way.. Tell your loved ones how much you love them and care.. you will get through.. be present in the moment.. that's all we can do... wherever we are in this life journey.

Best

Cancer deserves a good kick....

RE: Bad news

by shelby1 on Wed Feb 12, 2014 10:33 PM

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There are people on the Hopkins Pancreatic board who have metastisized lung nodules for over two years. One on the board today! Ask there. Best cancer websites/pancreatic or  via the Johns Hopkins Pancreatic cancer site under patient discussions-blog. Good Luck.

RE: Bad news

by happy2balive on Thu Feb 13, 2014 12:21 PM

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Sorry to hear your latest setback. You are so strong and I know you will fight this. Remember to live each day as best as you can and tell your loved ones how much they mean to you. Don't let this beast win....kick some butt. You have all of us fighting this thing along side you. God Bless
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