Worried caregiver

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Worried caregiver

by CeeGee1 on Sat Mar 28, 2015 06:41 PM

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My 77yo Mom has been told her metastatic cancer can no longer be treated. She's home, and not in any pain. I see her everyday. She's losing weight even though I bring her hot meals everyday. She now seems to be dozing off more. I am worried. Doc said to bring her back when she "becomes symptomatic". What does that mean? Mom doesn't want to see the doc. She insists she's not in any pain. What should I do?

RE: Worried caregiver

by VeteranR on Sun Apr 19, 2015 12:13 PM

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I guess I would call the doctor and tell him what is going on.  

Does she want more care?

RE: Worried caregiver

by SarahGrey on Mon Apr 20, 2015 11:02 PM

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If possible, maybe see if your mom's doc can sign her up for home hospice care (if it's available in your area).  They can help monitor her and make sure she remains comfortable.  From what you've written, it sounds like she's peaceful and that truly is a blessing.  Home hospice, if possible, can help continue and maintain that.

In the meanwhile, definitely make the most of your time together.  Time goes so quickly...  

Thinking of you guys, Sarah

RE: Worried caregiver

by CeeGee1 on Tue Apr 21, 2015 02:24 PM

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Thank you. Her doc has already authorized home hospice care but mom is still refusing. She is still in massive denial of her cancer. I'm resigned to this. I cannot take away her denial. It's all she has left. I can only be there and offer assistance. So far she is not in any pain. Her appetite is very poor, and she's not bathing everyday. She sure is hard-headed.

RE: Worried caregiver

by VeteranR on Tue Apr 21, 2015 04:10 PM

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Oh I get that completely, my husband is extremely hard headed too.  He believes that he will be out making hay, riding the tractor, training mules, and ... well, you get the idea.

Our best gift as caretakers is to let them believe in the best and be prepared for 'the worst'.  Does that make sense?

Val

RE: Worried caregiver

by CeeGee1 on Tue Apr 21, 2015 05:15 PM

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Yes, Val, that makes sense. The denial part makes sense. I just hope if she begins to experience pain, that she will tell me.

RE: Worried caregiver

by livinlife on Tue Apr 21, 2015 05:49 PM

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On Apr 21, 2015 5:15 PM CeeGee1 wrote:

Yes, Val, that makes sense. The denial part makes sense. I just hope if she begins to experience pain, that she will tell me.

Hi Gee Gee,

I am very sorry about your Mom. I lost my Mom to cancer many years ago and it was a very sad time. I had my sister to lean on for support and I hope that while you are supporting and caring for your Mom that you have someone to lean on for support too.

When I went through breast cancer myself several years ago I had a good support group to help me through. When anyone trys to help you let them because you need support too and I hope for you and your Mom the best and you can always find people on here to help keep you encouraged.

                             Be very blessed !

RE: Worried caregiver

by CeeGee1 on Tue Apr 21, 2015 08:40 PM

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Thank you.
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