on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

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on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Sdurnell on Tue May 12, 2015 09:13 PM

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My dad was hospitalized this week, and found to have a mass on his liver, 7 X 8 cm.  It turns out that the hospital had found a much smaller one in Jan., but neglected to tell the family or his doctors (which is another subject all its own!).  They suspect pancreatic cancer, and we are waiting on results from a fine-needle aspiration biopsy.  Is it often related to gall bladder problems?

He is 92, and diabetic.  Surgery and chemo are not options for someone in his condition, and he is returning to his group home where he will be on hospice.  

What I am hoping for is information about how this disease progresses and what his needs might be.  We don't know his mental state yet, but do know that he is coming home with a bipap machine, as he has some respiratory issues.  He has also had a stroke, so has some dementia, although it's not progressive and he knows and can converse with us.  He also has never recovered from breaking his hip, so uses a wheelchair. 

Thanks in advance for any information about how this might progress for him.

Susan 

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Sdurnell on Thu May 14, 2015 03:37 AM

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Thanks anyway.  He died later the same day I posted this, shortly getting back home from the hospital.  He was spared the ravages of this disease.

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Hussy on Thu May 14, 2015 01:14 PM

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I'm very sorry for your loss. 

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Sdurnell on Thu May 14, 2015 05:58 PM

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Thank you so much.  We are looking at it as a blessing for him, although of course, not so much for us.

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by BAILY on Thu May 14, 2015 06:58 PM

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So sorry for your loss.

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by raven15132 on Thu May 14, 2015 09:00 PM

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I am so sorry for your loss.  I am going thru this with my mom right now.  She had the Whipple done at the end of January.  She seemed to recover well and the doctors were amazed at how well she was doing.  She was to have 6 rounds of chemo, but only made it thru two before everything went haywire and she was put back into the hospital.  She once again seemed to be recovering and was sent to rehab to learn to walk and take care of herself.  Today I was told her liver is failing and they have taken her off all meds except her thyroid medicine.  She is going home Saturday and Hospice is also involved. Take care

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Sdurnell on Thu May 14, 2015 09:20 PM

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I'm terribly sorry about your mother.  It's so hard, especially when things start to look up, then there's a reversal.

My dad had his stroke a little over four years ago, just as I was going through radiation for throat cancer.  I never expected to see him again, especially with all the other things that happened to him shortly after, including his being on a feeding tube (like me!) and breaking his hip.  But he has had decent health the last few years.  

I'm not so sure that he was so glad to be home that he didn't want to go anywhere else ever again.  He had a good long life, and outlived all his many siblings.  Not bad for a guy who expected to die as soon as he retired, at 67.

Hospice is a wonderful thing, especially if you can find a nonprofit one.  Dad "graduated" from it four years ago, and my mom was on it for her Parkinsonism when she died.  I hope you and your mom both find comfort there.

All the best,

Susan

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Shereeclint on Fri May 15, 2015 02:00 PM

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On May 14, 2015 5:58 PM Sdurnell wrote:

Thank you so much.  We are looking at it as a blessing for him, although of course, not so much for us.

Hi Susan,

First of all, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. In addition to grieving, much is to be done winding up the affairs of the deceased. You have now lost both parents. During all of this, you have endured cancer as well as tending to your special needs child. I am humbled when I try to perceive all that you are enduring.

You have been there for us when we reached out, so please do not hesitate to reach out to us. Love is not love until you give it away. We, who have benefited by your love for those who suffer, send our love.

As I said in my previous note, the one bit of knowledge which has kept me sane since my Dad passed away in March is the knowledge of where he is and why. I pray you have this same peace.

This world seems to be spinning out of control, with pain and suffering the likes of which I have never witnessed in all of my short 61 years on this earth. A case in point is how your dad’s earlier symptoms were evidently withheld from his doctor and the family. Rationing health care is now a reality. Deny it if you may, however it is the ugly truth. A 92 year person is, well, you know........ 

People often ask me, “Where is GOD? Or, why is GOD silent these days? GOD, if He exists, should just not allow these things to happen”. As it is written, GOD has replied “Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey Me. Now, return to Me, and I will return to you.”

Fortunately, my Dad has been taken off the earth. He does not have to see what you and I see. Your Dad is now gone as well. As you said, maybe for other reasons, your Dad’s death was a blessing. I know it was a blessing in the case of my Dad as well.

Where is GOD? Where He has always been, and will always be, self-existing. We, on the other hand, are totally dependent. Take away the air and you see my point. It is as if we think that He needs us to exist. At a time, when we need Him, we have all but dismissed Him as “persona non gradis”. And then we blame Him for all of our suffering.

I pray His peace comes upon you. This is a good time to “return” to Him. What have we got to lose?

Clint

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Sdurnell on Sat May 16, 2015 04:00 AM

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Thanks, Clint.

You know, one thing Dad did for us 10 or 15 years ago was to write his autobiography.  My mother typed it up and found photographs to illustrate it, and my brother had a number of copies made.  They can do quite a nice job these days.

The book was a blessing in several ways.  We all (his kids and grandkids, as well as other relatives) have copies to read and reread.  And during the last few years, after his stroke, we used it to start conversations with him.  A paragraph or a fact or a picture would jog a memory from him, sometimes things none of us had ever heard before about his past.

Like the fact that he and his mother traveled from Alberta to Washington to visit her father in 1927, as he was dying of throat cancer!

This is a wonderful legacy that anyone, especially those of us who have retired, can leave for the younger generations coming along behind us.

Think about it!

Susan

RE: on hospice for possible pancreatic cancer

by Shereeclint on Sat May 16, 2015 05:32 PM

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Hi Susan,

That beast we call throat cancer has been around for much longer than I care to imagine. Human nature is also an interesting beast.

 We still smoke.

 “It isn’t going to happen to me. Everybody has to die somehow. I am going to live life on my terms. Mind you own business, I do not need a lecture from anyone.”

We all will die.

“I do not want to talk about it. Let’s talk about something else. Dying is just so morbid.”

Human nature IS the reason that the more we evolve, the more we stay the same.

My Dad also wrote his autobiography to leave for his grandkids. When I re read it recently, I was immediately struck by this observation. In two (2), no more than three (3) generations, he will be completely forgotten. I have no kids. I estimate that I will be forgotten is one (1). Today, there are over 7 billion people alive. One (1) is beyond insignificant.

Our Dad’s probably had more in common than we know. Both came out of the Great Depression. They were by nature conservative. When one lives through a World War it leaves a mark on one’s soul. Now they are both gone.

We are now where they were. Life has not been like the fairy tales we imagined in our youth. In the end, we will take nothing from this life.

Instead, we have been given something which we are incapable of obtaining on our own. Some will take it with them to a life of eternal pleasure. Others will take it to an eternal life of anguish and torment. We had this before we were born and it will be with us after death. It is simply, our soul.

Our souls will never be forgotten, for in order to forget we must have time in which to be forgotten. Our Dad’s now exist outside of time. We will someday as well. All is well with my soul, what say you?

Clint   

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