Valid cancer diagnosis? I feel horrible asking.

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Valid cancer diagnosis? I feel horrible asking.

by EmilyH on Wed Nov 11, 2015 08:33 PM

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I hope this does not offend you all here.

Quick history: I lost my best friend to Stage IV breast cancer last December.  She died 17 months after the diagnosis, it had spread to her bones and by the time they did the mastectomy and bone rads, it was in her liver, spinal fluid and then brain. She went from the regular chest port, to pills, to a port in the head at the end.  So, I am not sure what the "norm" is as everyone is different.  When it hit her brain she was declining rapidly - by the day, and, by the hour.  

Fast forward to 4 months ago.  I was introduced to a woman who I found inspirational.  I have not personally met this woman, communicated soley through the internet.  She was dx about 10 years ago with uterine cancer.  Uterus was removed and she was cancer free for 5 years until a routine mammogram detected breast cancer.  It had spread to her bones, organs, lungs and brain.  She was on chemo (through a port in the arm?) but had the port removed and now on chemo in pill form.  Up to 4+ months ago she was saying how she was being told it was time to start palliative care.  Tumors were growing, she was getting confused, etc.  This last update was in December they were going to tell her if she should stop all treatment.  She travels weekly to concerts, cities for touring, checking off things on her list she wants to do.  Drinks lots of alcohol, is always running around posing for photos, has the energy of my 5 year old son.  Eats all the time, cooks extravagent meals, says she is going back to school, etc.

She looks perfectly healthy.

I guess what I am looking for - can it be like this?  Can you have this much energy with "end stage terminal cancer" (her words)  I see no resting, being ill, photos at the Dr. (unless it is a generic blood draw)  or really anything specific about her treatment.  Maybe I should not care.  Maybe I am still hurt over the death of my best friend, and how horrible the treatment was.  We went places while she was on chemo, but we needed to have a chair or place to rest at the ready.  There was NO way she could travel every weekend and hit bars and do all-nighters like this woman.  Now of course, she will say during the week how she is resting and over did it.  She is always feeling better Friday-Sunday.

Maybe I am just in awe of how positive this woman is ... and she is legit.  If so I will feel terrible.

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