looking for friends to talk to

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looking for friends to talk to

by Jmooresr on Fri Sep 02, 2016 01:43 PM

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I learned Two years ago I had stage 4 prostate cancer which is in my bones. I am married with a family and am recieving injection treatments from a Urologist and a hematologist. I have been told that originally with this cancer they expected me to live about three years, so technically I should be on deaths door step this year. The good news is I am now expcted to live longer. I recently turned 62 in July and find myself going through more emotional problems but not like one would expect. I have yet to break down and cry since I found out the news. None of the: Oh God why me? I don't fault people who do feel that way; but I have yet to reach that point. At first, my attitude was one of: Ok now I know , what do I need to do to fight this; what is next. But over time my concern or rather my fear has becoming more one of one day dieing unloved and alone. I suppose this sounds silly but it is true. My wife is a minister in her church. I believe in God but I do not go to church. I simply talk to God as I need to in my own way. My adult kids will not talk about it, and my sibbling don't seem to care one way or the other. This must sound like I have got to be the biggest A-Hole in the world, but I am not. I have been a devoted husband , father, grandfather, and sibbling, and take care of of my new granddaughter who turn one recently.I love my family more than anything but I am hurt because I just want to know they care. I have always been here for my family, but sometimes it seems like because I am a man I should just not expect any support and suck it up. But their lack of support is what is killing me. I have tried to talk about it with my family but I get things like :We say a prayer for you on Sunday what do you want? No one should have to go through something like this alone, live threw it or not, and I feel like now I am being unreasonable asking for their support. So I have joined this to see if I can find people to talk to who may care. Maybe make some friends if anyone is willing to talk.

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by buttercup0121 on Fri Sep 02, 2016 02:21 PM

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I understand how hard this must be for you! I don't know where I would be without the support of my family and friends. It could be very likely your family just doesn't want to discuss this with you since if they don't talk about it maybe it will just go away. That didn't come out right but I hope you can understand what I am trying to say. Have you looked into  cancer support groups in your area? Your oncologist may be able to help with that. Best wishes and great job fighting this basically on your own! My prayers go with you.

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by lycopeneliker on Wed Sep 07, 2016 05:47 AM

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Cancer is something that people just don't want to talk about. I know this from my relatives and friends. My wife is also terrified whenever I talk about it, expects me to die any day now, although I am healthy as a horse.  I don't seem to get anywhere discussing it ratiounally with anyone I know, except other guys I know who have cancer.  But everyone is different regarding cancer so nobody seems to understand anyone else.

You might want to try the tomato soup therapy I have been using. I also have metastized prostate cancer which seems to go to bone at some times, lymph nodes at other times. The tomato soup seems to kill the cancer cells.  Not sure it would help you though, depending on the stage of your cancer at this point in time.  Let me know if you are interested.

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by buttercup0121 on Wed Sep 14, 2016 09:58 PM

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I'm actually doing so well right now I wouldn't be interested in the tomato soup therapy at this time. However, I will keep it in mind.

It is so true that every cancer patient has their own unique story it still helps to know they understand. In many ways I feel it is part of my witness to tell people "look what God has done". But, for me, I really would not be here without God's intervention.

Hope everything is well for you,

Lori

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by Caoimhin on Fri Mar 10, 2017 05:36 PM

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Are you still about here J ? You're not the biggest A hole.  I am. ;) 

Sounded like the family in De Nile.  Not easy to confront the death of a loved one.

I went through that experience twice within a couple of years recently - father and younger brother.  People's thoughts and emotions are literally all over the map. I have seven brothers and four sisters. I am not the eldest.  Stuck near the middle somewhere.  They'd come and ask me what to do or what I thought about such and such.  I wanted to roar my head off and run to the hills. Gets serious crazy. 

If you are still about here - let me know. I'll chat to you.

I'm Irish and kissed the Blarney Stone.  'Fore we're done - you'll be wanting to strangle me to shut up and give your head peace. 

I do hope you are OK.  

I know that feeling too. Being the 'strong' one - there for everyone else and can't ask for help for yourself.

You could read it as a sign of the depth of their love.  Terrified of losing you - the good and great man, father, grandfather, husband etc you are.  :) 

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by shipl on Fri Mar 10, 2017 08:16 PM

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G'day,

Sorry to here of you have been diagnosed with prostate cancer & how you are feeling at the moment. Good news is what ever your doing must be working for you "I am now expected to live longer" so stay focussed & positive.

Like to know a little more about you, your first name, where you live and more about your PC, like what indicated the problem, your PSA history, Gleason Score, your treatment & changes you have made in your life since being diagnosed.

My suggestion is to look for your the closest prostate cancer support group, you will find men as well as women in this type of group who have experienced the very issues your are trying to deal with, they will not only share their experiences but help you deal with them. 

You also might meet a new mate or 3 as well. You will also learn a lot more about symptoms, diets, treatments & sometimes alternates.

I am surprised the first thing your GP didn't do was give you details on PC support groups.

Don't allow yourself to feel alone mate, not while you can get on Cancer Compass, there is always somebody checking in on line everyday to chat with, answer questions or give advice, some times the advice may not be suitable for you, as one size doesn't fit all with cancer, thats up to you to decide on. I always say research research & research , then make a decision.

As you probably realise from my opening word, I'm in Austrialia. Hang in buddy & try not to stress about it things will turn around you just have to work at it.

If I could suggest another free site to join & chat on that I have found helpful & informative, it specialises for prostate cancer patients "Inspire"

Good Luck & take care. Cheers Charlie 

  

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by Nora59 on Sun May 21, 2017 04:16 PM

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Hello, I would like to know more about the tomato soup therapy.  My husband has been recently diagnosed with Gleason 9, aggressive prostate cancer.  He has begun Lupron, and will also have 8 weeks of radiation.  He is 64, African American, and otherwise a very healthy man.  He has been a vegan for about 3 years....so, his diet is very healthy.

I am reaching out for support as the wife...........I feel very emotional about all of this.......and afraid.  He, on the other hand, is very confident.........and doesn't really want to hear me talk about being afraid.

reaching out, Nora

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by tomatoman on Sun May 21, 2017 11:32 PM

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On May 21, 2017 4:16 PM Nora59 wrote:

Hello, I would like to know more about the tomato soup therapy.  My husband has been recently diagnosed with Gleason 9, aggressive prostate cancer.  He has begun Lupron, and will also have 8 weeks of radiation.  He is 64, African American, and otherwise a very healthy man.  He has been a vegan for about 3 years....so, his diet is very healthy.

I am reaching out for support as the wife...........I feel very emotional about all of this.......and afraid.  He, on the other hand, is very confident.........and doesn't really want to hear me talk about being afraid.

reaching out, Nora

Nora

I believe I am the origin of the tomato soup therapy.  I recently explained my situation and the therapy on the topic "Stage IV Prostate  Cancer Survival". I would be happy to answer questions if you have any.  

Mike (tomatoman/lycopeneliker)

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by UniqueMary on Sat Jun 10, 2017 08:16 PM

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On Sep 02, 2016 1:43 PM Jmooresr wrote:

I learned Two years ago I had stage 4 prostate cancer which is in my bones. I am married with a family and am recieving injection treatments from a Urologist and a hematologist. I have been told that originally with this cancer they expected me to live about three years, so technically I should be on deaths door step this year. The good news is I am now expcted to live longer. I recently turned 62 in July and find myself going through more emotional problems but not like one would expect. I have yet to break down and cry since I found out the news. None of the: Oh God why me? I don't fault people who do feel that way; but I have yet to reach that point. At first, my attitude was one of: Ok now I know , what do I need to do to fight this; what is next. But over time my concern or rather my fear has becoming more one of one day dieing unloved and alone. I suppose this sounds silly but it is true. My wife is a minister in her church. I believe in God but I do not go to church. I simply talk to God as I need to in my own way. My adult kids will not talk about it, and my sibbling don't seem to care one way or the other. This must sound like I have got to be the biggest A-Hole in the world, but I am not. I have been a devoted husband , father, grandfather, and sibbling, and take care of of my new granddaughter who turn one recently.I love my family more than anything but I am hurt because I just want to know they care. I have always been here for my family, but sometimes it seems like because I am a man I should just not expect any support and suck it up. But their lack of support is what is killing me. I have tried to talk about it with my family but I get things like :We say a prayer for you on Sunday what do you want? No one should have to go through something like this alone, live threw it or not, and I feel like now I am being unreasonable asking for their support. So I have joined this to see if I can find people to talk to who may care. Maybe make some friends if anyone is willing to talk.

My husband has stage 4 prostate cancer, he gets depressed real easy & I find him crying a lot lately. I try to be as stong as I posably can for him. Sometimes I find myself wanting to cry, but I don't so I can show him I can be strong for the both of us. I know where your coming from. I hope you can continue to be strong. And just a reminder, You Don't Have A Stamp On The Bottom Of Your Foot That Has A Date Of The Day Your Going To Die. So Don't Ever Let Anyone Tell You That You Only Have So Many Days Left To Live My Friend.

RE: looking for friends to talk to

by Nora59 on Sun Jun 11, 2017 10:46 PM

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I feel it is also very healthy to let go, and cry your heart out!!It is a very healthy release, and good for your soul. I hope your family will learn to be more supportive and caring. Nora
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