PunkyD's Message Board Messages

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RE: Pancreatic cancer!

by PunkyD - June 12 at 6:02 AM

Dear Dave,

Yes, I'm aware of the statistics of pancreatic cancer from personal experience. It is a difficult diagnosis, but don't ever lose hope. I believe there are stage 4 survivors on this site! Are you eligible for surgery? Whatever decision you make, whether to go with treatment or not, is your decision alone. You should do whatever you decide is best for you. 

I wish you the best of luck.........there are many great people and survivors on this site. Maybe you could reach out to them for more info. 


RE: Pancreatic cancer!

by PunkyD - June 11 at 5:58 AM

Dear Dave,

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  I can only imagine that it is a shock.

I can't tell you what you're in for, as everyone person copes differently and everyone's medical situation is different, but fighting cancer is never easy. Though I do have several suggestions for you. Surround yourself with a good support group. Someone who will be your advocate, go with you to doctor appointments (for support and to hear what the doctor is saying-sometimes it's so much info, it's hard to process) and help you when you are in need. Don't be shy to ask your doctor whatever questions you have. Don't be afraid to ask for a second opinion. Take life one day at a time.

Have the doctors given you a plan of action? Did they give you information such as staging, surgery, treatments? 

If you are the kind of person that likes to know everything, then do your research. If you aren't, then that's ok too. 

This site is very helpful, so always feel free to come here for support or for info. 

Sending you strength and prayers for a complete recovery.


RE: Seem to be getting worse fast

by PunkyD - June 06 at 5:39 AM

Dear Brynda,

I'm sorry to hear about the trouble and pain that you are going through. Unfortunately, I don't have any insight or advice, except for to see a doctor ASAP!  It sounds like you are listening to your body, so if something seems wrong, go to a doctor. You can always come here for advice and for someone to listen. 

Wishing you good luck and good health,


I am very sorry to hear about your Mom's diagnosis. It doesn't sound like all of the doctors are on the same page. It is difficult especially when there are many people involved. Each doctor is dealing with a different aspect of your mom's illness, and each one has a different personality and different way of dealing with their patient. Some doctors are more forthcoming with information and are keeping your mom's interest at top priority, and some maybe are not.

"The doctors stated they would have results with in 24 hrs but a full  result with in 5 to 7 days".  What does that mean?? What result will they have in 24 hours and why didn't you receive it? Which doctor of the team told you that you would have the answer in 24 hours? 

I think it is super important that you and your sisters should be your Mom's advocate and demand more answers. Hospitals are a very busy place, and sometimes you need to "bug" the doctors. If you are confused and have questions, you should definitely ask! Ask the nurses where is the doctor, and when can you talk to him. If your are not happy with the care, and they keep delaying and pushing you off,  you may want to think of going somewhere else. 

Good luck, and prayers for your Mom. 

RE: Pancreatic and Liver Cancer

by PunkyD - April 28 at 10:08 AM

Dear Lorraine,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your father and your mother's diagnosis. This is a lot to handle all on your own. I was a caregiver to my Mom, but I was not alone. My Dad and 3 sisters all helped. We took turns. My Mom passed away from pancreatic cancer 6 years ago. She was 74 and she and my Dad were married for 52 years.  She died on her birthday, which was also her anniversary. Pretty crazy, huh? 

It is good that your mom is clear thinking, and involved in important decisions in her life. I also went through anticipatory grief (My Mom was ill for 4 years on and off). I think that this is "easier" than someone passing suddenly, as you have time to prepare, think, talk, plan. Even though, when it actually happens, it's still a shock that it's actually over and that she is actually gone. 

My Mom was bedridden for her last 2-3 weeks. During this time, we had home hospice, and we tried to keep her comfortable and out of pain. 

As for suggestions to help you and your Mom..........I think that would depend a lot on your Mom's openness and willingness to discuss the inevitable. My Mother was either in denial, or didn't want to upset us, so we just sat with her, took care of her, talked to her, but we didn't talk about the end. This was hard for me.........so if you can talk freely with her, say to her whatever you need to say while you can. We brought the grandkids over a week before she passed, they sang to her, and she was happy to see them. Any important info you may need from her to make logistics easier afterwards could be helpful (such as bank issues, funeral arrangements that she may want etc.). 

Basically, just be with her, listen to what she wants, cherish every moment. My Mom passed peacefully, as she became weaker and weaker, sleeping more and more, and eating less and less, until she finally just took her last breath, and that was it - and I am thankful for that. 

I hope this is helpful in some way, and I wish you much strength during this difficult time. 


Dear smc123,

I'm very sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate, as I lost my Mom (74) to pancreatic cancer almost 6 years ago. I have been on this site ever since. My Mother was also diagnosed at stage 1, (by accident as she was in the hospital for a different issue) and she did undergo surgery (though not the whipple) and treatments, and she lived on and off with the disease for 4 years. She passed away at home, in her own bed, with most of us around her. Thank God, it was peaceful. 

May the good memories of your mom bring you comfort. 


RE: weight loss

by PunkyD - April 18 at 5:41 AM

Hi. This is a very old thread, but I saw your post and want to try and help. I think that many people suffer from a combination of weight loss due to eating less (because of treatments-food tastes bad (metallic) and fatigue) and cachexia. I lost my Mom almost 6 years ago. She had cachexia. From what I'v researched and seen, I believe that cachexia is serious. 

I think you should express your concerns with your dad's doctor. I don't know how and if cachexia can be avoided or treated. Because treatments take such a toll on a person's body, he should try to keep his weight up as much as possible before and during the treatments. Ensure drinks are good. 

Praying for you and your Dad.


RE: Prognosis Question

by PunkyD - April 16 at 7:00 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about this diagnosis. Unfortunately, I have experience with pancreatic cancer. I lost my Mom to it almost 6 years ago. They discovered her cancer by chance, in the early stages. She went through surgery (not the whipple) and treatments. She lived fairly well for the next year or two, bu then it came back, and she went through treatments again. From diagnosis till the end, she lived for 4 years, which is considered a long time. Her quality of life was pretty good. Unfortunately, the survivial statistics for all stages are in the single digits. It is the kind of cancer that very often returns. I'm sorry that I don't have any more positive thoughts. As for treatments, it is very personal. It depends a lot on a person's age, physical condition, and feelings about quantity vs. quality of life. 

As for the survivial statistics of someone diagnosed with Stage 3, and turned down treatments, it's hard to know. Nobody knows. Everyone is different. 

Despite what I've said above, there are always exceptions and new treatments coming out. Never stop losing hope and everyone should choose and do what is best for them! There are long term survivors on this board. Maybe they can share their experiences. 


I am so sorry to hear that you lost your Mom. It is still hard to believe, right? I'm coming up on 6 years since I lost my Mom to pancreatic cancer. I'm sure that your complicated relationship with you dad just makes your grieving that much more difficult.  Frustration, disappointment, anger, disbelief all wrapped up together. 

I have no magical solutions for how you can cope with your feelings. Sharing them here is a good start. Do you have siblings that you can talk to? Close friends? I'm sorry that you are in this situation, and that you don't have your father to grieve with. It is a shame that he cannot be open and honest with you.  I cannot relate to your situation, but I hear you. I respect your feelings. Have you spoken to him? Do you want to? Everything for you is still so recent and raw. Give yourself time to feel however you do. 


On Apr 12, 2019 1:59 PM debz3j wrote:


So glad to hear you're doing so well.  I am thanking God for your Diana too.  I haven't crossed that road yet in the almost nine years my Jimi has been gone BUT have a great guy in my life and feel this is the year.  Your post gives me hope that I can allow myself "happiness" again!  It just feels strange to have feelings like this again without the "guilt" that has stopped me all this time.


Dear Debz,

Good to hear from you. Glad to hear that you have a great guy in your life and that you are releasing the feeling of guilt. You are allowed to feel happy! I'm coming up on 6 years since my Mom passed away, and my Dad (80) has since remarried, and we are all so happy for him. 

I wish you only health and happiness. 


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About PunkyD

Pancreatic Cancer
Emotional Support

I was a caregiver to my mother. I lost my mother (74) to Pancreatic Cancer in June 2013, after a 4 year battle.

Was also a caregiver to my father in law for a year in half, suffering from prostate cancer and severe dementia. He passed away May 2017

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