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des12's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

      I'm not even sure what a normal ok is anymore, but like you said baby steps. I go at that pace every day and wait to see what the next step should be. Mary

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    • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

      Strange how we all could leave one post and it would all be the same. We had wonderful husbands and for that we were blessed. Also for that same reason we are hurting so. Ya know I keep going over that quote, "Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." Some days I feel like it would have been so much easier to have never loved like this. Can't really make up my mind which way I'd want it. ...

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      • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

        Yes it was forever, time flew by and 40 yrs went by so fast. I try to get my kids to understand that I can't go out and replace him, but they don't get it. We were in our 20's mad passionately in love. Raised 4 boys, none ever spent a night in jail, Thank God. Went to their games, I got sick and he took care of me, then the tables turned and the big ca got him. We watched them grow, graduate, danced at their wedding...

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        • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

          I know Pam, my boys kept saying they would come and pack his stuff and looking around at everything was the exact same way he left it whwen I took him to the hospital for fluids and he never came out. I wasn't even strong enough to go around the other side of the bed and take the tv tray with his glass on it. Then it started hurting worse so I got mad,I think about 6 weeks later, can't really remember and grabbed eve...

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          • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

              Sorry I saw your post today,here it is January already. I still wander, moved again last Friday, wehat a screwed up life I've been living. If you can call it living. Nothing is the same, I cry on and off, some days not as deeply as I did, but the loss is still too great. Mary

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            • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

                I'm not usually in this forum, but saw your message and wanted to make you aware of the fact that it may come from the kidney. My husband had kidney cancer and that's how it presented. Don't want to alarm you, but I wish I had been more pro active in the beginning. Mention it to his doc.

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              • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

                I know I could write all the same words, but thy've been written exactly as I feel too. It's too bad we all probably live so far away from each other because I have a feeling that if we're all walking around like zoombies in the same rm. eventually one of us might pick up on it and we'd laugh for a change. We get my son's results Tues. I was so worn today I went up to see him for less than an hr. I lasted. But at le...

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                • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

                  All I can say is try to keep remembering those funny little things instead of all the other things that haunt us day and night. My husband was so good looking too, I used to have to beat girls off of him and as he got older it actually got worse. They like distinguished looking men. I truly believe they have never really left us. I feel my husband all around me and I've had so many times only in the past 5 weeks tha...

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                  • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

                    I'm sitting here sobbing because I too lost the love of my life 5 weeks ago, Aug. 2. I can't tell you it will be ok, but the one thing I did was asked the Lord to prepare my heart. We have been together almost 40 yrs. 4 grown boys Nine months ago they broke the news to us that he only had 3-6 mos. to live due to the doctor telling us he had gotten all the kidney cancer last July, 2011, only to find out 4 mos. leter ...

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                    • des12 has replied to a post on the message board

                      Hi Mamab, Thank you and so glad you're doing well. I'm praying to God to give me the strength that I'll need here in the next few weeks. I'm not well, haven't been for 10 yrs. and my only answer to where I found the ability to care for my husband was truly God's hand in this. But I feel like someone knocked the wind out of me again with the same thing during the same time. I'm really in a daze, but again finding my...

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