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glitzy12944's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • Glitzy12944 has replied to a post on the message board

    It gives me comfort to know that I'm not alone, that we are not alone in this journey.  It may feel like it.  I always thought that there was a way around grief, some secret passage that I could just avoid and get to the easy part.  But as we all know in watching our loved ones pass (sometimes very slowy), there is no way around it, only through it.  Our journeys matter, our stories matter, our lo...

    October 20, 2014 view post
    • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

      I'm still in my first year of widowhood.  And it's about to start the holidays.  Coming up next week is my husband's birthday.  And I feel sad.  I feel like sometimes I just want to avoid it, avoid paying any attention to the day.  But then the other part of me wants to honor it in someway.  I was thinking of doing a message in a bottle, having my son draw a picture or something and goin...

      October 13, 2014 view discussion
      • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

        I can't believe it's been 6 months.  As much as I didn't want to believe it, it's true what they say, the first year really freaking sucks.  You have to go through all the holidays and birthdays and everything without him.  And I haven't had to go through that.  I am just trying to survive.  Wake up, get out of bed, shower and see where life takes me.  My heart is extra heavy today. &nbs...

        August 18, 2014 view discussion
        • RobinMB

          RobinMB Our son just got married over the weekend. It was very bittersweet. I had to go to the wedding without my dear husband, John. It felt awkward at the wedding sitting by myself, not having someone to slow dance with, and going home alone. I cried myself to sleep. I understand how you feel, Glitzy.

          August 20, 2014
      • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

        I miss you all so I thought I'd come back for some comfort. I find myself struggling to find my identity without my husband.  Who am I without him, who do I want to be? What do I want to define me? Knowing how short life is, what do I want to do with my life?  I thought that knowing he was going to die would make this easier.  But it really doesn't not in the day to day.  I find myself feeling a ...

        July 27, 2014 view discussion
        • Glitzy12944 has replied to a post on the message board

          I really like Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen.  You may not be there yet, but it helps for the days when I feel like wanting to be out in the light.  I also love C.S. Lewis A Grief Observed which I found to be very insightful.  

          July 27, 2014 view post
          • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

            Yeah so what everyone says about not making big decisions the first year after your spouse has died, yeah they might be onto something.  I'm pretty sure moving was one of the hardest things ever.  We had only ever lived in that house, in that town together, and watching our lives be packed into boxes, driving away from the town, people and comfort of my life there to the unknown was the hardest thing I have...

            May 10, 2014 view discussion
            • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

              I miss you ladies and am feeling so disconnected from everyone here where I live, so I thought I'd reach out to you all.  If you feel up to it, maybe post a short update on what is going on in your life!  I have two weeks to myself before the movers come to pack everything up.  I'm trying to do one annoying task a day.  Put my son in full time daycare so I can have a break.  And my dad who h...

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              • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

                Someone told me today that some of our friends are "put off" by how I am dealing with my grief.  That because I look put together and smile and laugh that I don't miss my husband and I'm not sad.  Who would say such a thing?  Of course I miss my husband, every single second of every single freaking day.  And just because I'm not crying in the produce section of the grocery store, doesn't mean that...

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                • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

                  Please say a prayer for me tomorrow, doing a big garage sale to get rid of a lot of stuff of mine and my husband's.  I know that typically, you wouldn't do something like this with him only being gone maybe a month.  It's painful and it sucks beyond belief but when I move in a few weeks, I want to take only the things that make me happy.  I about lost it when some lady was trying to haggle with me over...

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                  • Glitzy12944 has created a new message board discussion

                    Just found out on Friday that one of our friends, who was very involved in the military side of helping my husband.  He came by several times.  I literally just saw him at my husband's funeral on base a few weeks ago, just took his life.  He was 29 and my husband and I became really close to him.  This grief on top of losing my husband, it's awful.  Please send me some good thoughts tonight.

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                    About glitzy12944

                    caregiver to husband with Stage 4 GBM. I have a 1 year old son. My husband has gone through surgery, radiation, chemo. He has been on hospice for the past 2 months.

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