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kellyc's Recent CancerCompass Activity

  • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

    Hi all, I had a panic moment today that sent me into profound grief. I forgot the date of our wedding anniversary for a moment.  I don't know why it upset me so much but I've been crying for an hour.  I hate how the grief can sneak up on me and still bring me to my knees.  Tom died Oct. 19, 2013.   Sometimes I want to forget and move on and other times like this morning, the thought of moving on...

    June 15, 2016 view discussion
    • KellyC is now friends with shugytx
      March 09, 2015
      • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

        Hi All, It's been a while since I shared.  It's been 16 months since my husband Tom passed over.  My coping seems to be getting better.  At least I've found a way to keep the pain at bay for longer periods of time.  I try to consciously keep thoughts of him out of my head.  It's tough.  My happy memories make me mourn the loss as much as all the sad stuff.  If I talk...

        February 18, 2015 view discussion
        • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

          Hi All, The 10 month mark was on the 19th.  I tried not to think about it and did great until the 20th.  My friend and I are planning a cruise to Alaska and I tried to focus on that.  I've been there but she hasn't.  I was thinking about the last trip and of course it was with my husband in September, 2010. Was it only 4 years ago?  The interim 47 months were real doozie...

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          • KellyC has replied to a post on the message board

            Hi Robin, I was talking to friend last year and he said that there is a class action suit against UPS because they find a reason to fire long time employees so that they don't have to pay their pensions.  I don't know where to check on it though.  To overcome my grief and move forward I am trying to consciously stop thinking about my past.  I know that sounds crazy but I am really trying to stay in t...

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            • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

              At first crying as much as I wanted to wasn't an option because I was around people that wanted me to "suck it up" (my mom and my sister of all people).  Then I moved out on my own and the tears flowed freely.  I crawled into my grieve and blanketed myself in its deep sadness.  I thought it was what I needed most to survive.  A few months have passed now and I am tired of crying.  I think I h...

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              • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

                Hi All, It's been 7 months and 20 days.  Wow!  7 months and 20 days and I am still alive.  I was so sure his death would put me in the grave.  The pain was so intense.....searing, crushing my heart kind of pain.  Now it is an ache that keeps coming up.  An underlying issue that's always right below the surface.  I can be humming right along with a song on the radio and then all of...

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                • KellyC has created a new message board discussion

                  Just diagnosed with abnormal US.  My doctor referred me to an ENT for biopsy and surgery if necessary.  Is it better to go to an ENT or endocrinologist? 

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                  • KellyC has replied to a post on the message board

                    Hey Glitzy, It's been almost 6 months on the 19th.   I still cry daily, especially at night.  It's hard not to feel cheated..... I have finished remodeling the little fixer house I bought and it's really cute.  I have been out of my mother's house for 3 weeks now and it's lonesome but I am adjusting I guess.  Some how with all the work I had done (bought it, new roof, paint inside and out, new p...

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                    • KellyC has replied to a post on the message board

                      Hi Glitzy, Since I wasn't expecting such intense pain from the loss of my husband, it was a shock for me to experience it.  Moving has helped me to cope as I have been so very busy with it all.  I am wondering what it will be like when the craziness settles down. How will I be when I am totally alone again? With that in mind, peace comes with a sword.  While it hurt at first to not even receive ...

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                      About kellyc

                      Caregiver
                      Kidney Cancer

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