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waiting's Message Board Messages

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Wildrose -you are on my friend list - december 2, nd was the first anniversary of my husband`s passing - I bought 8 balloons - three white - one from me - and two from his two female cousins in England - I released them to the sky and the three white ones just kept going up and up into the sky - passed clouds further and further - I kept watching until I could not see them anymore - I like to believe my husband was on one of the clouds further up waiting to secure these

three balloons - It was his birthday on february 28, saturday and I bought balloons and placed them in front of his urn - I will be releasing the balloons in a day or two - and am curious to see what will happen with the white ones -

I still have his urn as the final resting place burnt down - and once it is rebuilt I will be placing his urn in one of their glass encased areas where you can visit and place mementos that will stay there for all of eternity - when I pass I will be placed beside him - and figuratively speaking I will hold his hand forever and ever.

the best you can do is give your love and support - it is normal to cry and feel sad - at least you are allowing yourself to feel the emoitions - when my husband was sick - I held my emotions in check --- and the stress became unbearable - I did not even know I was stressed at the time --- just did what needed to be done.

Love and pray for your sister - she will need your strength and support in the next months as she tries to recover from her illness.  Tell her you love her and be kind to her - treasure every minute you have together -  her journey is hers alone - however the love and support of family and friends will keep her going -- she needs  a positive atmosphere - no matter how cheerful she may be in the recesses of her mind are natural fears and concerns - God bless you and yours -- take care

RE: Colon Cancer

by waiting - December 31, 2014

blood in the stools is common with colon cancer - do not know whether these additional clots in the stools is indicative of any other symptoms of his disease - I hope your dad has a certain amount of quality of life - three years survival - so far - that is wonderful - try and enjoy every minute you have - 72 in this day and age is still young - I have said a prayer for your dad - I wish you and your familly - health and togetherness for the new year - take care Antonio T

RE: Colon Cancer

by waiting - December 20, 2014

have faith - it is strange that she is physically so ill before she even starts the chemo - is it fear of what is coming - if so try and calm her fears - I know people who have had chemo who have very few side effects - the most common I have heard of is fatigue - one lady in particular - they did not think she would survive - and she is now 2 years cancer free - it was a different type of cancer - a rare type - so my dear keep your chin up - be positive - your attitude is very important as your fears could transfer to your mom -- HOPE - that is what you need - believe me hope is very positive -

RE: Colon Cancer

by waiting - December 18, 2014

Miadowls - I am happy for you - it will help ease your stress as you have a journey ahead of you - you sound like a very loving daughter.

My husbands choice was his and I respected that - and in his case it worked out well - he had a longer time - it appears your mothers Doctor sees a better future for your mom or he woud not have pursued the chemo side of things - there is more and more positive outcomes for colon cancer and I will pray for your mom - the fact that she has agreed to the chemo is a positive sign - and she is looking forward - today is my bday so I will say your mother agreeing to chemo is a bday gift to me - even though I do not know her . Have a peaceful and loving Christmas with your mom and family - and I wish her increase in health for the year 2015 -ALL THE BEST - Waiting

RE: Colon Cancer

by waiting - December 18, 2014

hi miadowls - my husband had colon cancer and elected to not have chemo or radiation - when he was diagnosed he was given 3 to 6 months - he lived for almost 2 years - there are pain killers that can be taken - in pill form - and the last six months he was on a very low dose morphine pump - he was co - herent and moving around until the last three days.

I do not know how old your mom is - however she could live a long time - under a doctors care - and having you there in a loving and supportive capacity would be the best blessing she can have.   The important thing is to try and keep her up-lifted and positive - it will help her immensely - my  husband had a cheerful and positive demeanor - and it really helped him - that was his normal nature - however being surrounded by positive and encouraging family members would really help your mom -  do not feel helpless - just love and support her and do everything you can to keep her content and comfortable - I will say a prayer for you and your mom - and I wish you all the best in your journey - God speed

RE: dark green bile?

by waiting - December 10, 2014

My husbands urine was very dark also - he never had chemo or radiation however he had very low dose morphine - I do not know whether it is the chemicals given to the patient or the disease itself causing these situations

I think you are a loving and caring person - and I understand the desire to prolong her life -it has been a year december 2nd - since my husband died - and sometimes I ask myself what if - if only he could still be here - and in my heart I believe when we love someone so much we do not want to let them go - he was always positive - so it is hard to believat     at times he is gone - i think medications work differently on everyone - for my husband who passed at home - as that was his wish - it worked - maybe for others it does not - I do not know -  hospice from what I have heard is handled by very dedicated people - the best in their field - I am going to a candle lighting service on sunday in memory of people who have passed - I will mention your mom when I light the candle - it will be in memory of Derek - my brother Jim who passed in April of this yer and your mom - I will use the phrase loving mom - God will know who I am referring to - I am not religious - however I am spiritual and believe there is life after death -  bless you - I wish you all the best now and always. THIS IS FOR LOVING MOM

squerra47 - I GOT YOUR HIDDEN MESSAGE - I AM NOT PERFECT FAR FROM IT - EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES - WE ARE HERE TO OFFER SUPPORT AND HELP TO OTHERS - AND IF POSSIBLE ALLEVIATE SOME OF THEIR FEARS. 

HOPE YOUR HUSBAND IS DOING WELL - CANCER OF ANY KIND IS A HORRIBLE DISEASE - IT EFFECTS

  ACCORDING TO STATISTICS IN THE INSURANCE BUSINESS - AS THAT IS WHAT I DO - 1 IN 2 MEN AND 1 IN 3 WOMEN IN THEIR LIFE TIME.

KELLY1388 - DO NOT BE WORRYING ABOUT WHEN YOUR TREATMENT WILL START - COMPARED TO SOMEONE ELSE - EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT - WHEN IT COMES TO TREATMENT ASK YOUR DOCTOR OR ONCOLOGIST - THEY WILL HAVE THE BEST ANSWERS - FOR THE REST IT IS JUST CONJECTURE.

YOU WILL DO BETTER IF YOU DO NOT WORRY YOURSELF INTO A TIZZY -   HOW QUICKLY SOMEONE ELSE `S TREATMENT BEGINS IS NO REFLECTION ON YOUR DIAGNOSIS

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About waiting

Caregiver
Colon Cancer
After Treatment, Cancer Diagnosis, Cancer Nutrition, Cancer Prevention, Cancer Treatments

hi my name is --------, my husband recently passed away from colon cancer - he was diagnosed in March of 2012 - they gave him 3 to six months - he lived for 21 months. He opted not to have chemo- and was taking a low dose morphine tablet - and went on a morphine pump about 5 to 6 months ago - he always displayed a very positive attitude and never complained - he died on December 2, 2013 - he wanted to pass at home - and he had psws coming in - the last 4 to 5 months - 5 days a week - for a total of 35 hours - each week - I miss him terribly - but I know he is in a better place - I have seen a lone star in the sky - 3 times now - we had discussions about when he would not be here and he said he would guide me. I know and anyone out there taking care of a family member with cancer or any other serious illness that it takes its toll. It is very stressful - The day after he passed - the daughter-in-law said now I will be able to do the things I need to do - as I am in the insurance business - and the company I work with has been absolutely amazing during this journey. My reply - was I would not have changed a thing and I knew in that moment I meant it - even though at times I felt I was going absolutely insane. I did not feel a sense of relief - which many people had told me I would feel at the end of this journey - I did not feel anything - as I was in automatic protective mode. Now several weeks later - I feel the loss acutely - however I am strong and will be ok - I may even volunteer to help other cancer patients - or collect moneys for research through a cancer volunteer association. I often wish he was still here - but that would be selfish - as he was so thin at the end - and was definitely ready to meet his maker. I pray for him - and offer a prayer to anyone who is going through the hard times of losing a loved one through a slow process.

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